Anal Sex for Beginners

For many people, anal sex is the ultimate taboo. Many people are attracted to it precisely because it's so taboo and mysterious. Others haven't tried it yet and are curious.

What Is Anal Sex?
Anal sex is the act of placing a finger, an erect penis, or object into the anus of another person to give and receive sexual pleasure. Some people also enjoy oral stimulation of the anus, known as analingus or rimming.

Does Anal Sex Hurt?
Anal sex should not hurt. If it hurts, you're doing it wrong. With enough lubricant and enough patience, it's entirely possible to enjoy anal sex as a safe and fulfilling part of your sex life. If you follow these 10 Steps to Great First-Time Anal Sex, you can ensure that your first anal sex experience is pleasurable rather than painful.

Why Try Anal Sex?
For men and women, anal sex is a different, tighter sensation, it’s a little bit naughty, and it provides some variety to normal sex. The anus and the rectum are sensitive areas. There are a wealth of muscles and nerve endings around the anus, and the right kind of touch can feel fantastic. A woman's G-spot can also be stimulated indirectly through anal play as well, and anal orgasms are possible. Anal Sex from Female Perspective describes the erotic sensations a woman feels during anal penetration.

Anal Sex for Men
All men have a prostate gland that can be reached through the rectum. Many men have orgasms just from pressure on the prostate. Prostate Massage for the Ultimate Male Orgasm explains how to massage a man's prostate for his sexual pleasure. Some couples are even exploring male penetration by the female partner with a strap-on dildo, a sexual practice known as Bend Over Boyfriend or pegging.

As more and more of us explore various pleasure zones throughout ours and our lovers' bodies, the anus has received the attention it so richly deserves. In spite of (or is it because of) the pervasive taboo, anal eroticism can become an important part of your sex life, whether as main course or appetizer.

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

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5 Advanced Anal Sex Techniques

According to a federal study released in 2005, 40 percent of men and 35 percent of women surveyed in 2002 said they have had anal sex with an opposite-sex partner. Given that five of my top ten posts all-time are about anal sex, I'm sure the numbers haveonly increased since then. That means that a lot of couples have moved beyond anal sex for beginners and are looking for way to make anal sex even hotter. Here are five advanced anal sex techniques to try.

1) Try different positions: on your back with your legs on his shoulders; both of you on your sides like spoons; you bent over the edge of the bed, him kneeling on the floor behind you, etc. Positions that require a lot of leg tension on your part are not as simple to do at first (standing, bent over, hands and knees, propped against a wall, squatting or kneeling over his penis, etc.), although they may give you more control of depth and thrusting (assuming you want control). One position I've grown to like is lying on my stomach with my hips raised a little on a pillow. I’m pinned down, so I just relax and let him do me.

2) Now that you know you can accept his penis, try alternately relaxing your anus when he thrusts into you, and then tightening slightly as he withdraws. This feels wonderful to both of you!

3) As a variation on (2) above, he can hold you to keep you from moving your body, slide deep into you, and, while not thrusting himself, have you squeeze and release with just your anal muscles until he ejaculates. Quite difficult, but worth it.

4) Have him deep inside your vagina before you or he inserts a butt plug. This suddenly makes your vagina seem much tighter, and then, of course, you can both enjoy the snug fit.

5) Don't always use the bedroom. With practice and repetition, you may find you don't need to go through as much preparation for anal sex. Some women, with a fair amount of experience, find they only need to apply some lubrication to their partner's penis and they are ready. Keep small packets of lubricant on you at all times since you never know when your partner may want to "bend you over."

As with all sex, the more you practice, the more enjoyable anal sex will be, since you get used to it and you know how to best enjoy it, what angles you need to use, and what tricks and techniques will make it most pleasurable. For those couples who've gotten past their initial concerns about trying anal sex and discovered how enjoyable it can be, advanced anal sex techniques can open up a whole new world of anal pleasure. Even though you are no longer anal virgins, you can still discover new erotic sensations.

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

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3 Great Anal Sex Positions

Anal sex is a firm favorite with many men and women, and there are lots of sex positions in which you can try it. Two important aspects of a good anal sex position are that it allows the woman to be relaxed and physically comfortable, and that it gives the man access to the area. Because anal sex is a much slower form of penetrative sex, it’s important to find a position that you’re comfortable in and isn’t too taxing on your body. Below are three great anal sex positions.

1) Knees on Chest: The knees on chest position, with the woman lying on her back with her legs up, can be a great first-time sex position. Both partner’s bodies are close to the "ground," which allows for more relaxation and less work. It also allows for plenty of physical touching, which is so important to women during anal sex. Placing a pillow under the woman's lower back can be helpful.

2) Cocoon: If you've already tried anal sex, here's a position to get your man deeper inside than ever before. Lie on the bed with your bottom on the edge and your legs raised. Make sure you have a pillow or two under your pelvis to make it easier for him to penetrate your anus.

With your man standing in front of you, bend your knees and rest your feet on his chest while he begins to enter your anus very slowly. Once he's inside to the depth that's comfortable for you, speed up or slow down the thrusting as you like.

2) Jack Hammer: Even though the name suggests fast, hard thrusting, you can mix it up for varying sensations To perform the Jack Hammer, put some pillows underneath your butt and lower back, and then hoist both of your legs over your man's shoulders as he kneels between your legs.

Your man should take it easy to begin with and insert his penis an inch at a time, checking to make sure you're is comfortable at each stage. He doesn't even have to fully insert his penis in this anal position, as the tip of his penis will be squeezed by your tight anal sphincter muscles, which will be enjoyable for you too.

For men and women, anal sex is a different, tighter sensation than vaginal sex. It is also often a "first time for everything" type of activity which can also be nice - doing something you've never done before, ever. If you're considering trying anal sex for the first time, make sure that you follow the 10 Steps to Great First-Time Anal Sex. Practice makes perfect, and it’s the ability to maneuver oneself and try different styles that allows anal sex to be pleasurable.

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

Read more »

10 Steps to Great First-Time Anal Sex

Many people believe that anal intercourse hurts and that it is always an uncomfortable experience. This is quite simply false. If it hurts, you're doing it wrong. Actually, anal intercourse can provide a unique form of pleasure for both men and women. Anal sex is enjoyable for men because the tight anal sphincter rings provide strong sensations to a thrusting penis.

Generally, for women, the pleasure derived from anal intercourse is due to the shared nerve endings located between the rectal wall and the vagina, and/or from indirect stimulation of the G-spot. The anus contains many nerves as well, which can also react in a pleasurable manner when excited. My post Anal Sex from a Female Perspective describes what anal sex feels like for a woman. If you want to try anal sex with your wife or girlfriend, but are uncertain of her reaction, use the approach I recommend in How to Make Her Want Anal Sex.

If you follow the ten steps below, you can ensure that your first anal sex experience is pleasurable rather than painful.

1) Get clean. It goes without saying that if you're sexually stimulating an area that's usually devoted to elimination, you need to ensure that it's squeaky clean. Have a relaxing bath or shower beforehand and thoroughly clean the area. If you're self-conscious about your lover seeing your anus in full for the first time, why not gently shave or wax the skin between your butt cheeks? You'll be surprised how much more relaxed and confident this will make you.

2) Don’t rush into it. Engaging in foreplay or even intercourse before trying anal sex for the first time can help you relax. Analingus (oral-anal contact) is another great way to "warm-up" the anus and can be very pleasurable in and of itself. Run your tongue over the anus, licking it in soft, wet strokes, or circle it, running your tongue around the edge of it slowly and delicately. Flick the tip of your tongue rapidly over the opening, or try inserting your tongue as far as it will go pushing and stroking it back and forth. Try brushing your lips over the spot or sucking hard on the anus.

3) Use lots of lubricant. Since the anal region is not self-lubricating, anal lubricants are extremely helpful for making penetration more comfortable and pleasurable. Water-based and silicone-based lubes work well with both latex and polyurethane condoms. Many couples prefer a thicker lube (a "gel" rather than a “liquid") for anal sex. Use as much lubricant as possible. You really can’t use too much.

4) Fingers first. The sphincter muscles around the anus will not allow things to pass through easily unless you start small and take it slowly. Apply lube to one finger and gently insert it without moving it around in order to condition her to the sensation of something being in her anus. Once she is comfortable with being dilated, slowly start to move your finger in and out and around. Gently stretch her anus by pushing outward on her anal ring, as if it was the center of a clock face, pressing out towards 1, 2, 3 o'clock, etc. Once she has learned to enjoy the insertion of a single finger, try inserting a second. Always go very slowly and be sure she remains relaxed. Don't forget to use lube on each finger you insert.

5) Get in position. Choosing the best position may make the difference between a painful or pleasurable experience. Though doggie-style may be the most popular anal sex position, it’s not necessarily the best one for beginners. Missionary position (man on top, woman on bottom) allows the woman to fully relax her anus, making penetration much easier. My article Which Anal Sex Positions Are Best for Beginners? describes several anal sex positions, and tells you which ones are best for beginners and why.

6) Enter slowly. When you're ready for penetration, take one or both of your hands and use your fingers to pull your butt cheeks gently apart. This will help guide him into your anus without too much prodding, making it a lot easier for both of you. He should begin by slowly and gently inserting the tip of his penis into your anus. Remember that it's normal to feel some discomfort or even slight pain because it's your first time (just like with first-time vaginal sex) though if you're in a great deal of pain or feel very uncomfortable, ask your partner to stop immediately.

7) Go deeper. Once your partner has inserted the tip of his penis, ask him to slowly penetrate your anus further, but at a gentle pace that you feel comfortable with. This means it could take anywhere from 30 seconds to five minutes before his penis is fully inserted. Breathing deeply and talking him through what you’re feeling will help keep you both stay relaxed. Continue like this until his penis is fully submerged.

8) Gradually build momentum. Once his penis is fully inserted, the key to great anal sex varying the angle, depth, and speed of thrusting and gradually building up momentum. Clenching your anus can enhance the sensation for your partner.

9) Don't forget the rest of her body. Stimulating other parts of her body during anal sex can help make her feel more relaxed and provide a greater thrill for both of you. While thrusting in and out, reach around and finger her clitoris. While orgasm may occur purely from the anal sex, this added stimulation will lead to a more intense sexual experience.

10) At the end. Immediately following climax, she may become extremely sensitive to penetration. Thrusting or pulling out should be done very gently after orgasm. Also, remember that once your penis has been inside the rectum, don't put it inside anywhere else until you have washed yourself.

These days more and more men are becoming interested in anal pleasure and comfortable with the idea of letting their female partners take control in bed, and some couples are even exploring male anal penetration by the female partner, a sexual practice known as Bend Over Boyfriend (BOB) or pegging. If you have never tried (or even heard of) this sexual practice, read my tutorial How to Bend Over Your Boyfriend and Make Him Like It.

Anal sex is one of the most erotic and satisfying sexual practices you and your partner can enjoy. It may take some time to get it just right, but if you follow these 10 steps, you will both have lots of fun trying. The most important aspect of anal sex is communication, so be sure to talk to your partner about your anal desires before, during, and after your first session of anal sex.

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

Read more »

Which Anal Sex Positions Are Best for Beginners?

Many women are curious about anal sex, but are scared about comfort and safety issues. Some women who are unwilling to try anal sex with their current partner may have had a bad experience with an impatient or ignorant lover in the past.

However, anal sex can be very pleasurable for women because the rectum shares a wall with the vagina, and the sexual nerves are actually closer on that side, which makes the sensation unique, stronger and quite possibly orgasmic. My post Anal Sex from a Female Perspective describes what anal sex feels like for a woman. If you want to try anal sex with your wife or girlfriend, but are uncertain of her reaction, use the approach I recommend in How to Make Her Want Anal Sex.

For those couples trying anal sex for the first time, choosing the best position may make the difference between a painful or pleasurable experience.

1) Doggie Style is probably the most commonly thought of anal sex position. The woman kneels on all fours, and the man approaches from the rear. Though this is the most common anal position, it's not necessarily the most comfortable, or the best beginner position, as the woman tends to tighten up her anus in this position.

2) Flying Doggie is a variation of the popular doggie style position. The man stands behind the woman and places his feet outside the legs of the woman. You'll find that the man will be positioned higher and will be inserting into the anus in a more downward fashion.


3) In the Wheelbarrow position, the man approaches the woman from behind, similar to doggie stye, but lifts the woman's legs into the air. The woman must support herself with her arms only, or lie flat on a bed or chair.

4) The Anal Drop position puts the woman on top and the man on the bottom. You might think that this would be the best beginner position since it gives the woman control over the depth and speed of penetration, but being on top causes the woman to involuntarily tighten up her anus, making penetration difficult.

5) In the Anal Kama Sutra position, the man lies flat on his back with the woman on top, facing the man's feet. The woman should lean as far toward the feet as possible and then commence pumping. This angle tends to maximize anal pleasure for the woman while delaying orgasm for the man.

6) Side Anal is a good beginner position. The woman lies on one side, and the man approaches from the rear. The woman can relax her anus, and the man can easily access the entire anal area.

7) The Missionary position (man on top, woman on bottom) is the best beginner position for anal sex. It allows the woman to fully relax her anus, making penetration much easier. The woman lies face up with a pillow under her pelvis and her legs pulled up. The man should kneel or lie facing the woman and insert at an angle that is comfortable to both. In this position, the woman can relax several muscles necessary for pleasurable anal sex.

Women are often just as excited as men to be venturing into the anal aspect of sex. Many couples find that anal sex is a tremendous tool to enhance their regular sex activities. It's a unique feeling that is completely different to vaginal sex and worth experimenting with.

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

Read more »