Analingus: Oral Anal Play

Analingus or rimming is the act of performing oral sex of the anal area. Analingus is not a common sexual practice even today, but times are changing. If you are curious and open to new adventures, analingus can bring you a multitude of wonderful sensations and is also an excellent warm-up for anal sex. The anus is lined with many sensitive nerve endings, so when these are stimulated by the touch of a warm, wet tongue, the result can be quite pleasurable. The key to enjoying these new sensations is to get over any inhibitions and embrace analingus as an incredibly sensual and intimate act between lovers.

How to Perform Analingus

Cleanliness is even more of a issue with analingus than with genital oral sex. Taking a bath or shower together is a relaxing form of foreplay and will allow your partner to get squeaky clean. You and your partner should soap your butt and anus, inserting a finger into the rectum, and rinse thoroughly with warm water. An enema usually isn't necessary if you wash well.

Like other forms of oral sex, take your time, relax, and gradually arouse your partner. You could start with genital oral sex, and then as your partner's body becomes more aroused, it can be a natural progression to lick further south. If you are performing cunnilingus, be sure not to go back up to the vagina after licking the anus in order to prevent any bacterial infection.

The greatest pleasure of analingus comes from tender kisses, loving licks and variations of tongue movements circling in and around the anus, igniting all those sensitive nerve endings. You can use both hands to spread the anus wide and then point your tongue and insert it in and out.

Analingus Positions

Sideways 69 is a good position to start out with. Regular 69 can be a bit tricky for you to get in to a comfortable and accessible position that you can both enjoy, but if you both turn side on, you can massage, lick, and suck to your mutual delight. When you are ready and feel completely comfortable with exposure, try the following positions:

Doggy

Doggy is where the receiver assumes the doggy position kneeling down, and the giver kneels behind and gently spreads each butt check to expose the anus.

Bent Over

This position is self-explanatory. However, you can modify it by the receiver bending over the edge of a bed or chair to maximize comfort for both parties.

Legs Up

In this position, the receiver lies on their back with their legs open and bent, knees drawn up to their chest. The giver lies on their stomach in front. This position can be made more comfortable with the receiver lying on the edge of the bed, and the giver keeling in front.

Analingus is an intimate act that requires a high level of comfort with your sexual partner. If you both want it, analingus can be a wonderful experience for a couple. The total acceptance of each other's bodies with no part being off limits can strengthen both the sexual and emotional connection with your lover.

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

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Analingus: The Dark Kiss

Analingus, also known as the "dark kiss" or rimming, is oral stimulation of the anus. For many people, analingus is a sensuous experience, both on the giving and the receiving end. Some say there is nothing as arousing as having their lover’s warm, soft tongue and lips giving them pleasure in such an incredibly intimate place, and those who love to give it find the experience equally as arousing. Because the delicate pucker of the anus is packed with sensitive nerve endings, analingus can produce exquisite, erotic sensations.

Analingus can also be a great introduction to the sensation of anal penetration. For men and women who enjoy being penetrated, this is a delicious tease for the main course to come, and for men who aren’t sure about penetration, with analingus they can comfortably try out the sensation of anal stimulation to see if they might like it.

Cleanliness is even more of a issue with analingus than with traditional oral sex. Taking a bath or shower together is a relaxing form of foreplay and will allow your partner to get squeaky clean. You or your partner should thoroughly soap the butt and anus, inserting a finger into the rectum, and rinsing thoroughly with warm water.

The easiest position for analingus is doggie-style with the receiver on all fours. This way you can gently spread their cheeks with your hands, and see everything clearly as you dip your tongue in and out. Doggie-style licking also provides a fantastic rear view, and allows you to squeeze, rub, and pull on other areas as you lick. Those receivers with lower back pain or mobility issues can simulate the doggie position by lying on their stomachs with pillows under their hips, comfortably raising their butts for optimal licking.

With the delicate pucker of the anus in full view, gently kiss and lick their cheeks as they slope inwards toward the crack. Work your way closer into the furrow, taking your time to let them get used to the sensation, or to tease them if you know they like it. You can have your partner reach back and pull their own ass cheeks apart, which will greatly help you and make it less tiring and easier for you to lick.

You can make your first touch of the anus in several ways:

• With softened lips, kiss it directly.
• With the very tip of your tongue, lightly lick in a circle around the rim of the opening – "rimming" them.
• Lick the entire furrow with a big, flat tongue from top to bottom like an ice cream cone.
• Press your flattened tongue against the opening and hold it, and then slowly start to move it in an up and down or an in and out massage.

You can start with one of these and try them all out to see what they like. Since different people like different techniques, experiment with the ones below also to see which your partner enjoys the most.

• Flicking: Gently flick the tip of the tongue across the outer rim of the anus.
• Ringing the Bell: Push your tongue against the anus, and then remove it, as though you were ringing a doorbell.
• Licking: Use your full tongue to lick completely across the anus.
• Probing: Insert the tongue as far into the anus as you can, then probe around with the tip. After a bit of gentle probing, the sphincter muscles should start to relax and welcome deeper exploration.

Many people won't orgasm by anal sex alone, so you should keep analingus fairly brief or keep them stimulated in some other way at the same time.

Analingus is one of the most intimate of all sexual acts. If both partners approach it with openness and enthusiasm, they will be rewarded with unparalleled enjoyment whether analingus is the main course, a spicy side dish, or an appetizer for anal penetration.

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

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10 Steps to Great First-Time Anal Sex

Many people believe that anal intercourse hurts and that it is always an uncomfortable experience. This is quite simply false. If it hurts, you're doing it wrong. Actually, anal intercourse can provide a unique form of pleasure for both men and women. Anal sex is enjoyable for men because the tight anal sphincter rings provide strong sensations to a thrusting penis.

Generally, for women, the pleasure derived from anal intercourse is due to the shared nerve endings located between the rectal wall and the vagina, and/or from indirect stimulation of the G-spot. The anus contains many nerves as well, which can also react in a pleasurable manner when excited. My post Anal Sex from a Female Perspective describes what anal sex feels like for a woman. If you want to try anal sex with your wife or girlfriend, but are uncertain of her reaction, use the approach I recommend in How to Make Her Want Anal Sex.

If you follow the ten steps below, you can ensure that your first anal sex experience is pleasurable rather than painful.

1) Get clean. It goes without saying that if you're sexually stimulating an area that's usually devoted to elimination, you need to ensure that it's squeaky clean. Have a relaxing bath or shower beforehand and thoroughly clean the area. If you're self-conscious about your lover seeing your anus in full for the first time, why not gently shave or wax the skin between your butt cheeks? You'll be surprised how much more relaxed and confident this will make you.

2) Don’t rush into it. Engaging in foreplay or even intercourse before trying anal sex for the first time can help you relax. Analingus (oral-anal contact) is another great way to "warm-up" the anus and can be very pleasurable in and of itself. Run your tongue over the anus, licking it in soft, wet strokes, or circle it, running your tongue around the edge of it slowly and delicately. Flick the tip of your tongue rapidly over the opening, or try inserting your tongue as far as it will go pushing and stroking it back and forth. Try brushing your lips over the spot or sucking hard on the anus.

3) Use lots of lubricant. Since the anal region is not self-lubricating, anal lubricants are extremely helpful for making penetration more comfortable and pleasurable. Water-based and silicone-based lubes work well with both latex and polyurethane condoms. Many couples prefer a thicker lube (a "gel" rather than a “liquid") for anal sex. Use as much lubricant as possible. You really can’t use too much.

4) Fingers first. The sphincter muscles around the anus will not allow things to pass through easily unless you start small and take it slowly. Apply lube to one finger and gently insert it without moving it around in order to condition her to the sensation of something being in her anus. Once she is comfortable with being dilated, slowly start to move your finger in and out and around. Gently stretch her anus by pushing outward on her anal ring, as if it was the center of a clock face, pressing out towards 1, 2, 3 o'clock, etc. Once she has learned to enjoy the insertion of a single finger, try inserting a second. Always go very slowly and be sure she remains relaxed. Don't forget to use lube on each finger you insert.

5) Get in position. Choosing the best position may make the difference between a painful or pleasurable experience. Though doggie-style may be the most popular anal sex position, it’s not necessarily the best one for beginners. Missionary position (man on top, woman on bottom) allows the woman to fully relax her anus, making penetration much easier. My article Which Anal Sex Positions Are Best for Beginners? describes several anal sex positions, and tells you which ones are best for beginners and why.

6) Enter slowly. When you're ready for penetration, take one or both of your hands and use your fingers to pull your butt cheeks gently apart. This will help guide him into your anus without too much prodding, making it a lot easier for both of you. He should begin by slowly and gently inserting the tip of his penis into your anus. Remember that it's normal to feel some discomfort or even slight pain because it's your first time (just like with first-time vaginal sex) though if you're in a great deal of pain or feel very uncomfortable, ask your partner to stop immediately.

7) Go deeper. Once your partner has inserted the tip of his penis, ask him to slowly penetrate your anus further, but at a gentle pace that you feel comfortable with. This means it could take anywhere from 30 seconds to five minutes before his penis is fully inserted. Breathing deeply and talking him through what you’re feeling will help keep you both stay relaxed. Continue like this until his penis is fully submerged.

8) Gradually build momentum. Once his penis is fully inserted, the key to great anal sex varying the angle, depth, and speed of thrusting and gradually building up momentum. Clenching your anus can enhance the sensation for your partner.

9) Don't forget the rest of her body. Stimulating other parts of her body during anal sex can help make her feel more relaxed and provide a greater thrill for both of you. While thrusting in and out, reach around and finger her clitoris. While orgasm may occur purely from the anal sex, this added stimulation will lead to a more intense sexual experience.

10) At the end. Immediately following climax, she may become extremely sensitive to penetration. Thrusting or pulling out should be done very gently after orgasm. Also, remember that once your penis has been inside the rectum, don't put it inside anywhere else until you have washed yourself.

These days more and more men are becoming interested in anal pleasure and comfortable with the idea of letting their female partners take control in bed, and some couples are even exploring male anal penetration by the female partner, a sexual practice known as Bend Over Boyfriend (BOB) or pegging. If you have never tried (or even heard of) this sexual practice, read my tutorial How to Bend Over Your Boyfriend and Make Him Like It.

Anal sex is one of the most erotic and satisfying sexual practices you and your partner can enjoy. It may take some time to get it just right, but if you follow these 10 steps, you will both have lots of fun trying. The most important aspect of anal sex is communication, so be sure to talk to your partner about your anal desires before, during, and after your first session of anal sex.

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

Read more »