My Anal Sex Ebook Has Been Published!

I have been writing about sex and relationships at Sex Secrets since 2007, and from the beginning, anal sex has been the most popular topic. One of my anal sex posts has over one million page views! That may be why Cosmopolitan magazine asked me to write an article about anal sex.

I have been having anal sex since I was seventeen years old. I am now twenty-nine, so I do have many years experience behind me (so to speak).. Unlike many so-called experts, I have had actual first-hand experience of what I am writing about..I have finally decided to put that knowledge into an ebook. Anal Sex Secrets: A Guide to Great Anal Sex is the result.

This book is both for anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try.

Here are just a FEW of the things you'll learn:

• Why men are so into anal sex
• Why anal sex is pleasurable for women too
• How to clean up for anal sex so that you both can relax and enjoy it
• When NOT to have anal sex - not every time is the right time
• How to make her WANT to try anal sex
• The one ESSENTIAL you must have before trying anal sex... and I'm NOT talking about a condom
• How to work up to full anal intercourse with anal play
• The best position for first-time anal sex - it's probably not the one you're thinking of
• A step-by-step guide to your first anal sex encounter
• What to do if he's... you know... BIG
• How to keep everything strong and tight back there
• How to turn anal sex into an intimate experience - it doesn't have to be ONLY for physical pleasure, you know

... and MUCH more!

Anal Sex Secrets: A Guide to Great Anal Sex is all meat with no fluff or filler. It's also not full of moralizing and sermonizing. If you want to have anal sex, that's your business. I want to help you make it a great sexual experience for both of you.

Anal Sex Secrets is published by Lulu.com and is available for immediate download in ePub format, which most e-readers use. If you don't have an e-reader, you can download and install the free Adobe Digital Editions reader to read it on your computer.

Maybe best of all, Anal Sex Secrets is available at a price anyone can afford - $4.99. For less than the price of a six-pack of beer, you can be on your way to taking your sexual relationship to another level. To  upgrade your sex life starting tonight, click here! Anal Sex Secrets is also available at iBookStore and Barnes & Noble NOOK.

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5 Ways to Make Anal Sex Better for HIM

Anal sex is enjoyable for men because the tight anal sphincter rings provide strong sensations to a thrusting penis, but that doesn't mean that women can't do things to make it more enjoyable. Although the man does all the 'bumping and the grinding," it's the woman who makes the experience fun. Many women have anal sex primarily to reward their men or make them happy, so here are five ways for women to make anal sex better for their partners.

1) Once you know you can accept your partner's penis, try alternately relaxing your anus when he thrusts into you, and then tightening slightly as he withdraws. This feels wonderful to both of you!

2) As a variation on the above, he can hold you to keep you from moving your body, slide deep into you, and, while not thrusting himself, have you squeeze and release with just your anal muscles until he ejaculates. Quite difficult, but worth it.

3) You can train to do the above techniques by doing Kegels. To perform a Kegel exercise, contract your anus, glutes, and pelvis and hold the contraction for a count of five. Then, slowly relax your muscles again and take a brief rest. Repeat ten times to complete a set and try to perform three sets of Kegels throughout your day.

4) One position I’ve grown to like is lying on my stomach with my legs closed. This position allows you to squeeze the cheeks of your butt together making you a lot tighter for your partner. It's also a good position if you're with a man who just doesn't seem to be able to orgasm. Most of my partners have yet to last more than five minutes with me in this position.

5) Glute bridges work the muscles of the buttocks, which you can use when in the "belly down" positon. If you want, you can combine this exercise with Kegels. To do a glute bridge, lie on your back with your knees bent and your feet flat. Your arms should be extended on each side of your body. Slowly raise your buttocks off the floor so that your hips move upward. Contract your glute and abdominal muscles. This is the position where you can add a Kegel. Hold for the count of five, then slowly bring your buttocks back down to the ground and relax. Repeat this exercise for one to three sets of 10 repetitions. If you add Kegels to your glute bridges, you don't need to do Kegels as a separate exercise.

You will enjoy anal sex much more if you are an active participant. Don't just lie there and take it. By trying one or more of the above tips, you can not only make anal sex better for your partner, but also make it more enjoyable for yourself.

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

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5 Ways to Make Anal Sex Better for Her

Anal sex is enjoyable for men because the tight anal sphincter rings provide strong sensations to a thrusting penis. However, there is more to anal sex than just "in and out." If anal sex is not enjoyable to your partner, she is not going to want to do it in the future. There are several things you can do to make anal sex better for her so that she can enjoy it too.



One is to first loosen her up. You can finger her, or you can perform analingus on her. If you're going to finger her, begin by working a single, lubed finger into her anus and see how she reacts. Then try two. If you're feeling adventurous and so is she, try three. Don't move the fingers in and out too much. Just let your partner get used to idea of having something inside of her.

Once she feels comfortable, try slipping just your penis head inside of her. As you feel it slip in, stop and hold it there for a while. After your partner adjusts. push in a little more. If you see your partner wince. then stop and hold it there. Pull out just a little if she needs you to. By entering her this way, you should eventually be able to get most, if not all, of your penis inside of her. By the way, slipping the penis head in and out of your partner's anus can be a wonderful way to tease. (My post The Teasing Penetration Anal Sex Technique goes into more detail about this.)

Once you are inside her, use long strokes for the maximum amount of pleasure for her. A lot of men tend to stick their penis inside their partner, and just use quick, short strokes. Speaking from personal experience, I really enjoy feeling a man's shaft slowly sliding in and out of me. Save the quick, short strokes when you're ready to have your orgasm.

Even anal sex can get routine. Nothing kills pleasure like boredom. If you're used to only one or two positions, consider trying new ones. (If you need ideas, see my posts 3 Great Anal Sex Positions and The 3 Best Anal Sex Positions for Intimacy.) You can also try locations outside the bedroom. Bending her over a sofa or the kitchen table can make anal sex new and exciting again. Having anal sex in a public place where you could get caught (but hopefully won't) is also a turn-on for many couples.

Anal sex can be even more enjoyable - not to mention frequent - for men if their partners are equally enthusiastic. By trying one or more of the above five ways to make anal sex better for her, you can increase her enjoyment. You can be sure that a woman who enjoys anal sex is going to want it more often.

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

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The Teasing Penetration Anal Sex Technique

The Teasing Penetration Anal Sex Technique is a method for gently introducing your man's penis into your body and getting you used to being entered. It is a much more effective way of preparing you for anal sex than fingering. This method should help you if you often experience discomfort or pain initially during anal penetration. Anal sex should never be uncomfortable or painful, and with the Teasing Penetration Anal Sex Technique, it won't be. Best of all, this method not only makes anal penetration more comfortable, but also is quite pleasurable for you and him!


Once you are in position and ready for penetration, grab the base area of your man's penis and gently caress your anus with the head. Just do light, circular motions around the opening. As you do this, every so often allow just the head of his penis to enter you. Squeeze it tightly with your sphincter muscle, release it, and go through the circular motions again. If done correctly, this should start to feel like teasing for both you and him. Yours is the circular motion, and for him, it is the almost getting in and being squeezed, but being denied the chance to slide all the way in.

After a little while, place the head of his penis inside you and then let go of the shaft and place one of your hands just under his belly button, but tell him not to move. With him in place and your hand gently holding him back from pushing, begin to squeeze the head of his penis. Squeeze and release rapidly while in this position. Remember, you are supposed to be caressing the head of his penis with your anus, so vary the tightness and speed. Your goal is to turn him on and drive him crazy.

Next, after doing a few of these, tell him to push in slightly - but only slightly. Give him the chance to do what he has been aching to do since you started, but make sure he only gets a little taste of what he wants. As he starts to slide himself inside of you, make sure you continue to cause friction by squeezing and releasing. This will give you a lot of pleasure, but also will feel very good for him.

It is entirely up to you how far in you allow him to go. It's best to only allow a partial insertion of the penis and then gently use your hand to push him back out. By now, he really wants to go for it, but making him wait a bit longer adds to the fun.

Once he is back to the original position with only his penis head inside you, it is up to you what you do with him. The longer you squeeze and release, the more ready you will be for him. When you feel ready, tell him to push himself all the way up inside you. Both of you will have been waiting for this moment to arrive as you increased your teasing. When he rams it up inside you (and he most likely will ram it), continue to squeeze and release your muscles around his entire penis. He will absolutely love this sensation, and he deserves it after holding out for so long.

The Teasing Penetration Anal Sex Techniques is not only a great way to prepare yourself for anal intercourse, but also a lot of sexy fun for both you and him. Experiment with the technique and make it your own. Don't be surprised if your man doesn't want to begin anal sex any other way!

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

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10 Steps to Great First-Time Anal Sex

Many people believe that anal intercourse hurts and that it is always an uncomfortable experience. This is quite simply false. If it hurts, you're doing it wrong. Actually, anal intercourse can provide a unique form of pleasure for both men and women. Anal sex is enjoyable for men because the tight anal sphincter rings provide strong sensations to a thrusting penis.

Generally, for women, the pleasure derived from anal intercourse is due to the shared nerve endings located between the rectal wall and the vagina, and/or from indirect stimulation of the G-spot. The anus contains many nerves as well, which can also react in a pleasurable manner when excited. My post Anal Sex from a Female Perspective describes what anal sex feels like for a woman. If you want to try anal sex with your wife or girlfriend, but are uncertain of her reaction, use the approach I recommend in How to Make Her Want Anal Sex.

If you follow the ten steps below, you can ensure that your first anal sex experience is pleasurable rather than painful.

1) Get clean. It goes without saying that if you're sexually stimulating an area that's usually devoted to elimination, you need to ensure that it's squeaky clean. Have a relaxing bath or shower beforehand and thoroughly clean the area. If you're self-conscious about your lover seeing your anus in full for the first time, why not gently shave or wax the skin between your butt cheeks? You'll be surprised how much more relaxed and confident this will make you.

2) Don’t rush into it. Engaging in foreplay or even intercourse before trying anal sex for the first time can help you relax. Analingus (oral-anal contact) is another great way to "warm-up" the anus and can be very pleasurable in and of itself. Run your tongue over the anus, licking it in soft, wet strokes, or circle it, running your tongue around the edge of it slowly and delicately. Flick the tip of your tongue rapidly over the opening, or try inserting your tongue as far as it will go pushing and stroking it back and forth. Try brushing your lips over the spot or sucking hard on the anus.

3) Use lots of lubricant. Since the anal region is not self-lubricating, anal lubricants are extremely helpful for making penetration more comfortable and pleasurable. Water-based and silicone-based lubes work well with both latex and polyurethane condoms. Many couples prefer a thicker lube (a "gel" rather than a “liquid") for anal sex. Use as much lubricant as possible. You really can’t use too much.

4) Fingers first. The sphincter muscles around the anus will not allow things to pass through easily unless you start small and take it slowly. Apply lube to one finger and gently insert it without moving it around in order to condition her to the sensation of something being in her anus. Once she is comfortable with being dilated, slowly start to move your finger in and out and around. Gently stretch her anus by pushing outward on her anal ring, as if it was the center of a clock face, pressing out towards 1, 2, 3 o'clock, etc. Once she has learned to enjoy the insertion of a single finger, try inserting a second. Always go very slowly and be sure she remains relaxed. Don't forget to use lube on each finger you insert.

5) Get in position. Choosing the best position may make the difference between a painful or pleasurable experience. Though doggie-style may be the most popular anal sex position, it’s not necessarily the best one for beginners. Missionary position (man on top, woman on bottom) allows the woman to fully relax her anus, making penetration much easier. My article Which Anal Sex Positions Are Best for Beginners? describes several anal sex positions, and tells you which ones are best for beginners and why.

6) Enter slowly. When you're ready for penetration, take one or both of your hands and use your fingers to pull your butt cheeks gently apart. This will help guide him into your anus without too much prodding, making it a lot easier for both of you. He should begin by slowly and gently inserting the tip of his penis into your anus. Remember that it's normal to feel some discomfort or even slight pain because it's your first time (just like with first-time vaginal sex) though if you're in a great deal of pain or feel very uncomfortable, ask your partner to stop immediately.

7) Go deeper. Once your partner has inserted the tip of his penis, ask him to slowly penetrate your anus further, but at a gentle pace that you feel comfortable with. This means it could take anywhere from 30 seconds to five minutes before his penis is fully inserted. Breathing deeply and talking him through what you’re feeling will help keep you both stay relaxed. Continue like this until his penis is fully submerged.

8) Gradually build momentum. Once his penis is fully inserted, the key to great anal sex varying the angle, depth, and speed of thrusting and gradually building up momentum. Clenching your anus can enhance the sensation for your partner.

9) Don't forget the rest of her body. Stimulating other parts of her body during anal sex can help make her feel more relaxed and provide a greater thrill for both of you. While thrusting in and out, reach around and finger her clitoris. While orgasm may occur purely from the anal sex, this added stimulation will lead to a more intense sexual experience.

10) At the end. Immediately following climax, she may become extremely sensitive to penetration. Thrusting or pulling out should be done very gently after orgasm. Also, remember that once your penis has been inside the rectum, don't put it inside anywhere else until you have washed yourself.

These days more and more men are becoming interested in anal pleasure and comfortable with the idea of letting their female partners take control in bed, and some couples are even exploring male anal penetration by the female partner, a sexual practice known as Bend Over Boyfriend (BOB) or pegging. If you have never tried (or even heard of) this sexual practice, read my tutorial How to Bend Over Your Boyfriend and Make Him Like It.

Anal sex is one of the most erotic and satisfying sexual practices you and your partner can enjoy. It may take some time to get it just right, but if you follow these 10 steps, you will both have lots of fun trying. The most important aspect of anal sex is communication, so be sure to talk to your partner about your anal desires before, during, and after your first session of anal sex.

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

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