How to Enjoy Anal Sex

If you're feeling like one day you woke up and suddenly it was all about anal, you're not alone. The question is, can women enjoy anal sex? Thankfully, the answer is yes! Many women love it and even prefer it to vaginal sex, experiencing more intense, full body orgasms with anal. Anal sex is not for everyone but if you have tried it once, maybe twice before, with painful results, you may not have taken the full necessary measures to prepare the body. So how do you learn how to have anal sex properly and get some of that pleasure for yourself?

When beginning anal sex, your body cannot be at its most relaxed when your mind is not at ease. Enjoy an erotic shower with your partner beforehand and get squeaky clean everywhere. It also should go without saying that a pre-sex bowel movement is essential. When it's not possible to go on command, over-the-counter enemas are a popular and effective way to ensure your peace of mind.

Now that you are clean, your body then needs to be aroused to the point where you can't wait for anal penetration to begin. Along with regular foreplay, it is best to also participate in anallingus. If you don't feel comfortable with the idea of your partner's tongue up your butt, you may need a rethink. You are preparing for a large, erect penis to enter a very tigh,t downward chute. The sensation of a loving partner tickling and teasing, licking, and blowing is a very sensible way to prepare your whole body and mind for the bigger and better things to come.

Before attempting penetration you must first apply lubricant liberally all over his penis. Also, have him insert it right up into your anus using his fingers. Doggy style is the most popular position for anal sex. However, your muscles are far more relaxed in the missionary position. As well as allowing for easier insertion, missionary position is also beneficial for beginners due to its intimate nature. You can continue to kiss, and talk to each other directly, guiding him to continue further or stop when you need a break.

When you are ready, breathe out and "push out" as he begins to push in. You may feel a stretch or a pinch. Insertion is the hardest part of the process, and it should never be forced. When you are ready, it will be easier to build momentum once his penis gets past a certain point, usually a couple of inches past your opening.

Many people falter with anal sex when the penis hits the internal sphincter. Because you can't control it, its normal reaction is to contract and tighten when a finger or penis is poking at it from the other end. However, it can only tighten for a certain length of time before it tires and loosens on its own. With gentle persistence, usually after about a minute, the muscle will stop contracting and relax. At this point, you should be able to continue with slow pain-free insertion.

Continue slowly, always talking to your partner. As he moves in further, you may have the feeling that you need to go to the toilet. If you have done everything to prepare beforehand, this is only a natural reflex. Your body is used to pushing objects out the other way. Stop for a moment until the urge passes.

If you are finding anal sex painful it is important to stop and retrace your steps. Your body probably wasn't prepared as much as it could have been. Practice and good preparation should lead not only to a pain-free experience, but also to an enjoyable one.

Thinking about how to have anal sex for the first time is a lot like considering vaginal sex as a virgin. It's a little scary and a little exciting. You're expecting a bit of pain, and you know it will be awkward, but still you trust all the information you have ever received, you know you will eventually enjoy it. So why should anal sex be any different?

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

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The Teasing Penetration Anal Sex Technique

The Teasing Penetration Anal Sex Technique is a method for gently introducing your man's penis into your body and getting you used to being entered. It is a much more effective way of preparing you for anal sex than fingering. This method should help you if you often experience discomfort or pain initially during anal penetration. Anal sex should never be uncomfortable or painful, and with the Teasing Penetration Anal Sex Technique, it won't be. Best of all, this method not only makes anal penetration more comfortable, but also is quite pleasurable for you and him!


Once you are in position and ready for penetration, grab the base area of your man's penis and gently caress your anus with the head. Just do light, circular motions around the opening. As you do this, every so often allow just the head of his penis to enter you. Squeeze it tightly with your sphincter muscle, release it, and go through the circular motions again. If done correctly, this should start to feel like teasing for both you and him. Yours is the circular motion, and for him, it is the almost getting in and being squeezed, but being denied the chance to slide all the way in.

After a little while, place the head of his penis inside you and then let go of the shaft and place one of your hands just under his belly button, but tell him not to move. With him in place and your hand gently holding him back from pushing, begin to squeeze the head of his penis. Squeeze and release rapidly while in this position. Remember, you are supposed to be caressing the head of his penis with your anus, so vary the tightness and speed. Your goal is to turn him on and drive him crazy.

Next, after doing a few of these, tell him to push in slightly - but only slightly. Give him the chance to do what he has been aching to do since you started, but make sure he only gets a little taste of what he wants. As he starts to slide himself inside of you, make sure you continue to cause friction by squeezing and releasing. This will give you a lot of pleasure, but also will feel very good for him.

It is entirely up to you how far in you allow him to go. It's best to only allow a partial insertion of the penis and then gently use your hand to push him back out. By now, he really wants to go for it, but making him wait a bit longer adds to the fun.

Once he is back to the original position with only his penis head inside you, it is up to you what you do with him. The longer you squeeze and release, the more ready you will be for him. When you feel ready, tell him to push himself all the way up inside you. Both of you will have been waiting for this moment to arrive as you increased your teasing. When he rams it up inside you (and he most likely will ram it), continue to squeeze and release your muscles around his entire penis. He will absolutely love this sensation, and he deserves it after holding out for so long.

The Teasing Penetration Anal Sex Techniques is not only a great way to prepare yourself for anal intercourse, but also a lot of sexy fun for both you and him. Experiment with the technique and make it your own. Don't be surprised if your man doesn't want to begin anal sex any other way!

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

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Postillioning: An Introduction to Anal Sex

Men and women of all walks of life enjoy anal sex as an alternative to everyday lovemaking. Anal sex, practiced properly, is as safe as any other kind of sex, and it can be extremely pleasurable. The rectum and the rim of the anus are all rich sources of nerve endings. Postillioning is inserting a finger(s) into the anus, and may include massaging it and the rectum. Postillioning is a great way to help someone explore their rear and learn to loosen the anal opening.


The best way for you to insert a finger into your partner's anus

When your partner is getting aroused, begin to gently probe their anal opening with a finger tip, bearing in mind that you should have already lubed everything. Opening up for anal penetration can be a very intimate act, so respect the fact that you are being given the opportunity to enter someone's body in this way. The outside can be caressed in circles and mild probes. This is usually a very warm experience and helps relax the area. Stroke and massage around the anal opening, giving your partner time to relax into the feelings.

When you both are ready, find the center of the anus and press gently into it with your fingertip, while your partner relaxes and allows your finger into their body. Insertion is helped if the receiver pushes lightly out as if going to the bathroom. You may wish to gently move your finger back and forth. You should find that your finger goes further into your partner's body each time and then easily slides through into their rectum.

What to Do Once You're Inside

Once you get inside, you'll feel the thick, strong, muscular ring which is the anus, and beyond it the soft sides of the rectum. Keep at least your fingertip beyond the anus, or contraction of the muscle will cause the finger to pop out again. Tou can explore around, pushing your finger in as far as it'll go, curling it around the anus, flicking it back and forth. If you insert two fingers you can push them apart inside as a way to stretch and loosen the anus.

A few basic techniques to get you started are moving your finger in a circular motion exploring the walls of the rectum, moving in circular motions along a specific region, moving in and out, and rotating your hand to spin your finger. After learning what you can from these techniques, start mixing two, three or more of them together.

Here are some techniques specific for postillioning a woman or a man.

Man in Woman

Use your tongue to stimulate her clitoris and vulva at the same time as you gently massage the G-spot and other sensitive areas inside her vagina with one finger. At the same time, play with her anus, her anal canal, and gently on the wall of her rectum with another of your fingers. If you massage the wall of her rectum closest to her vagina, you may find that you can convey thrilling sensations through to her vagina. Of course, remember not to put a finger that has been up her anus into her vagina.

Woman in man

There are two very pleasurable spots in and around a man's anus. The first location is the anus itself, which is surrounded by a large number of nerve bundles and is very sensitive. The second is the prostate gland. It is located a few inches inside the anus towards the belly button, and often feels like a firm bulge.

If a man is lying on his back, the best way to massage his prostate is to hook a finger slightly upwards when you have penetrated his anus, and massage it with a fingertip. Be careful, though, because the exact amount of pressure you need to use to give a man maximum pleasure is something you can only establish by experience, so start gently and work harder as he expresses his pleasure. Try different movements of your fingertip, such as circles, strokes, and pressure. If you have a finger inside stimulating his prostate when he reaches an orgasm, you will send him to another world of pleasure, one that he will most likely be asking you to help him revisit. Prostate Massage for the Ultimate Male Orgasm tells how to give a man a more intense orgasm than he has ever experienced before.

Postillioning is a great introduction to anal sex. If you take your time, and let your partner get comfortable with the idea of anal play, you should eventually reach the point where they will seriously consider allowing you to try full anal penetration with a penis or dildo. When that time comes, following the 10 Steps to Great First-Time Anal Sex will ensure that the first time is a great time!

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

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5 Advanced Anal Sex Techniques

According to a federal study released in 2005, 40 percent of men and 35 percent of women surveyed in 2002 said they have had anal sex with an opposite-sex partner. Given that five of my top ten posts all-time are about anal sex, I'm sure the numbers haveonly increased since then. That means that a lot of couples have moved beyond anal sex for beginners and are looking for way to make anal sex even hotter. Here are five advanced anal sex techniques to try.

1) Try different positions: on your back with your legs on his shoulders; both of you on your sides like spoons; you bent over the edge of the bed, him kneeling on the floor behind you, etc. Positions that require a lot of leg tension on your part are not as simple to do at first (standing, bent over, hands and knees, propped against a wall, squatting or kneeling over his penis, etc.), although they may give you more control of depth and thrusting (assuming you want control). One position I've grown to like is lying on my stomach with my hips raised a little on a pillow. I’m pinned down, so I just relax and let him do me.

2) Now that you know you can accept his penis, try alternately relaxing your anus when he thrusts into you, and then tightening slightly as he withdraws. This feels wonderful to both of you!

3) As a variation on (2) above, he can hold you to keep you from moving your body, slide deep into you, and, while not thrusting himself, have you squeeze and release with just your anal muscles until he ejaculates. Quite difficult, but worth it.

4) Have him deep inside your vagina before you or he inserts a butt plug. This suddenly makes your vagina seem much tighter, and then, of course, you can both enjoy the snug fit.

5) Don't always use the bedroom. With practice and repetition, you may find you don't need to go through as much preparation for anal sex. Some women, with a fair amount of experience, find they only need to apply some lubrication to their partner's penis and they are ready. Keep small packets of lubricant on you at all times since you never know when your partner may want to "bend you over."

As with all sex, the more you practice, the more enjoyable anal sex will be, since you get used to it and you know how to best enjoy it, what angles you need to use, and what tricks and techniques will make it most pleasurable. For those couples who've gotten past their initial concerns about trying anal sex and discovered how enjoyable it can be, advanced anal sex techniques can open up a whole new world of anal pleasure. Even though you are no longer anal virgins, you can still discover new erotic sensations.

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

Read more »