How to Enjoy Anal Sex

If you're feeling like one day you woke up and suddenly it was all about anal, you're not alone. The question is, can women enjoy anal sex? Thankfully, the answer is yes! Many women love it and even prefer it to vaginal sex, experiencing more intense, full body orgasms with anal. Anal sex is not for everyone but if you have tried it once, maybe twice before, with painful results, you may not have taken the full necessary measures to prepare the body. So how do you learn how to have anal sex properly and get some of that pleasure for yourself?

When beginning anal sex, your body cannot be at its most relaxed when your mind is not at ease. Enjoy an erotic shower with your partner beforehand and get squeaky clean everywhere. It also should go without saying that a pre-sex bowel movement is essential. When it's not possible to go on command, over-the-counter enemas are a popular and effective way to ensure your peace of mind.

Now that you are clean, your body then needs to be aroused to the point where you can't wait for anal penetration to begin. Along with regular foreplay, it is best to also participate in anallingus. If you don't feel comfortable with the idea of your partner's tongue up your butt, you may need a rethink. You are preparing for a large, erect penis to enter a very tigh,t downward chute. The sensation of a loving partner tickling and teasing, licking, and blowing is a very sensible way to prepare your whole body and mind for the bigger and better things to come.

Before attempting penetration you must first apply lubricant liberally all over his penis. Also, have him insert it right up into your anus using his fingers. Doggy style is the most popular position for anal sex. However, your muscles are far more relaxed in the missionary position. As well as allowing for easier insertion, missionary position is also beneficial for beginners due to its intimate nature. You can continue to kiss, and talk to each other directly, guiding him to continue further or stop when you need a break.

When you are ready, breathe out and "push out" as he begins to push in. You may feel a stretch or a pinch. Insertion is the hardest part of the process, and it should never be forced. When you are ready, it will be easier to build momentum once his penis gets past a certain point, usually a couple of inches past your opening.

Many people falter with anal sex when the penis hits the internal sphincter. Because you can't control it, its normal reaction is to contract and tighten when a finger or penis is poking at it from the other end. However, it can only tighten for a certain length of time before it tires and loosens on its own. With gentle persistence, usually after about a minute, the muscle will stop contracting and relax. At this point, you should be able to continue with slow pain-free insertion.

Continue slowly, always talking to your partner. As he moves in further, you may have the feeling that you need to go to the toilet. If you have done everything to prepare beforehand, this is only a natural reflex. Your body is used to pushing objects out the other way. Stop for a moment until the urge passes.

If you are finding anal sex painful it is important to stop and retrace your steps. Your body probably wasn't prepared as much as it could have been. Practice and good preparation should lead not only to a pain-free experience, but also to an enjoyable one.

Thinking about how to have anal sex for the first time is a lot like considering vaginal sex as a virgin. It's a little scary and a little exciting. You're expecting a bit of pain, and you know it will be awkward, but still you trust all the information you have ever received, you know you will eventually enjoy it. So why should anal sex be any different?

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

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My Anal Sex Ebook Has Been Published!

I have been writing about sex and relationships at Sex Secrets since 2007, and from the beginning, anal sex has been the most popular topic. One of my anal sex posts has over one million page views! That may be why Cosmopolitan magazine asked me to write an article about anal sex.

I have been having anal sex since I was seventeen years old. I am now twenty-nine, so I do have many years experience behind me (so to speak).. Unlike many so-called experts, I have had actual first-hand experience of what I am writing about..I have finally decided to put that knowledge into an ebook. Anal Sex Secrets: A Guide to Great Anal Sex is the result.

This book is both for anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try.

Here are just a FEW of the things you'll learn:

• Why men are so into anal sex
• Why anal sex is pleasurable for women too
• How to clean up for anal sex so that you both can relax and enjoy it
• When NOT to have anal sex - not every time is the right time
• How to make her WANT to try anal sex
• The one ESSENTIAL you must have before trying anal sex... and I'm NOT talking about a condom
• How to work up to full anal intercourse with anal play
• The best position for first-time anal sex - it's probably not the one you're thinking of
• A step-by-step guide to your first anal sex encounter
• What to do if he's... you know... BIG
• How to keep everything strong and tight back there
• How to turn anal sex into an intimate experience - it doesn't have to be ONLY for physical pleasure, you know

... and MUCH more!

Anal Sex Secrets: A Guide to Great Anal Sex is all meat with no fluff or filler. It's also not full of moralizing and sermonizing. If you want to have anal sex, that's your business. I want to help you make it a great sexual experience for both of you.

Anal Sex Secrets is published by Lulu.com and is available for immediate download in ePub format, which most e-readers use. If you don't have an e-reader, you can download and install the free Adobe Digital Editions reader to read it on your computer.

Maybe best of all, Anal Sex Secrets is available at a price anyone can afford - $4.99. For less than the price of a six-pack of beer, you can be on your way to taking your sexual relationship to another level. To  upgrade your sex life starting tonight, click here! Anal Sex Secrets is also available at iBookStore and Barnes & Noble NOOK.

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3 MORE Advanced Anal Sex Techniques

Anal sex is not everyone’s favorite sex act, but it is certainly high on the list for many couples and can be a fun change of pace for almost anyone who isn’t bothered too much by the taboos against it. Just the idea of anal sex can be exciting to beginners. However, after awhile, even anal sex can become routine. That’s why I wrote 5 Advanced Anal Sex Techniques – to give couples some ideas they could try once they were no longer anal sex beginners. Since then, I’ve discovered three more techniques that you might find fun and exciting, too.

1) Hot dogging

“Hot dogging” is an anal foreplay technique. I love this technique because it not only feels good to have a hard penis sliding between my buns (and I think it feels good to a man, too), but it also gets me excited, knowing what’s going to happen next. To do it, place your LUBED penis between her buns and rub the  full length of your hard shaft up and down the crack of her ass.  Then take the head and run it up and down her crack.  After that, rub the head of the head around her anus and then, finally, push the tip inside her opening.  This technique is a perfect lead-in to The Teasing Penetration Anal Sex Technique.

2) Scissors Position

To get into the Scissors position, the woman should lie on the bed on her side.  Then she should extend her lower leg straight out and pull the knee of her top leg up to her chest.  Place a few cushions or pillows under the knee of her top leg to support it.  Then kneel over her lower extended leg and place one of your knees on either side of her lower extended leg.  You can switch sides later if you want.
The Scissors position allows for satisfying deep penetration because her butt cheek bones and your pelvic bone do not get in the way.  Plus, in this position, you have access to her entire body – BREASTS, back, sides, VAGINA, CLITORIS, legs, feet, neck, shoulders, and face.  You can also vary the speed, depth, and angle very easily as you thrust in this position.

3) Anal Wall Massage

Start the anal wall massage with just the head of your penis inside her.. Then take hold of your shaft and begin to rotate the head of your penis around and around and around, just inside her opening.  Then push in about an inch and repeat, rotating your penis around and around inside her.  Continue to repeat this pushing in and rotating  until you’re buried completely inside her ass. Once you’re completely inside, if you’re in the Scissors position, you can GENTLY rock your bodies back and forth. This rocking rubs your penis very gently inside her, which allows her to become accustomed to its size and hardness. (Each back-and-forth rocking feels like a mini-thrust.) If you follow the Teasing Penetration Anal Sex Technique with this technique, she should be ready to take it as hard and fast as you can give it to her.

Another way of of spicing up anal sex, though it’s not really a technique, is to reverse roles. My post Why Do Some Couples Enjoy Bend Over Boyfriend reveals how pegging can take your sex lives to a new and different level. These three anal sex techniques and most of the others I’ve written about are just as pleasurable for a male being penetrated as they are for females.

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

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The Teasing Penetration Anal Sex Technique

The Teasing Penetration Anal Sex Technique is a method for gently introducing your man's penis into your body and getting you used to being entered. It is a much more effective way of preparing you for anal sex than fingering. This method should help you if you often experience discomfort or pain initially during anal penetration. Anal sex should never be uncomfortable or painful, and with the Teasing Penetration Anal Sex Technique, it won't be. Best of all, this method not only makes anal penetration more comfortable, but also is quite pleasurable for you and him!


Once you are in position and ready for penetration, grab the base area of your man's penis and gently caress your anus with the head. Just do light, circular motions around the opening. As you do this, every so often allow just the head of his penis to enter you. Squeeze it tightly with your sphincter muscle, release it, and go through the circular motions again. If done correctly, this should start to feel like teasing for both you and him. Yours is the circular motion, and for him, it is the almost getting in and being squeezed, but being denied the chance to slide all the way in.

After a little while, place the head of his penis inside you and then let go of the shaft and place one of your hands just under his belly button, but tell him not to move. With him in place and your hand gently holding him back from pushing, begin to squeeze the head of his penis. Squeeze and release rapidly while in this position. Remember, you are supposed to be caressing the head of his penis with your anus, so vary the tightness and speed. Your goal is to turn him on and drive him crazy.

Next, after doing a few of these, tell him to push in slightly - but only slightly. Give him the chance to do what he has been aching to do since you started, but make sure he only gets a little taste of what he wants. As he starts to slide himself inside of you, make sure you continue to cause friction by squeezing and releasing. This will give you a lot of pleasure, but also will feel very good for him.

It is entirely up to you how far in you allow him to go. It's best to only allow a partial insertion of the penis and then gently use your hand to push him back out. By now, he really wants to go for it, but making him wait a bit longer adds to the fun.

Once he is back to the original position with only his penis head inside you, it is up to you what you do with him. The longer you squeeze and release, the more ready you will be for him. When you feel ready, tell him to push himself all the way up inside you. Both of you will have been waiting for this moment to arrive as you increased your teasing. When he rams it up inside you (and he most likely will ram it), continue to squeeze and release your muscles around his entire penis. He will absolutely love this sensation, and he deserves it after holding out for so long.

The Teasing Penetration Anal Sex Techniques is not only a great way to prepare yourself for anal intercourse, but also a lot of sexy fun for both you and him. Experiment with the technique and make it your own. Don't be surprised if your man doesn't want to begin anal sex any other way!

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

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The 3 Best Anal Sex Positions for Intimacy

Anal sex is an exciting way for a couple to explore each other sexually, creating new and intense sensations for both of you to enjoy. Anal sex can also be an exquisitely intimate act, in which a woman surrenders her body completely to her man. Whether you are experienced at anal sex, or you are trying it for the first time, these three positions will allow for greater intimacy between partners.

1) Side Anal is a good position for intimacy. With her lying on her side and you lying on your side behind her, she can relax her anus, and you can easily access the entire anal area. This is one of the best anal sex positions because it allows you to enter from behind, but still be able to wrap your arms around your lover. As you have her cuddled next to you, pleasure her with slow and gentle movements. Caress her shoulders and softly kiss her neck and back from this position. This will make her feel cherished and appreciated, creating a sense of intimacy and causing her to be filled with incredible pleasure!


2) Anal Drop (woman-on-top) With the man on his back, the woman climbs on top. This is one of the best anal sex positions because she can control the angle that you enter her, the intensity of the movements, and how deep she wants you inside of her. Since you want a highly pleasurable experience for her, be attentive to her needs. Look into her eyes, caress her arms and hands, and kiss her affectionately. Let her know how incredibly sexy and attractive she is to you because that, along with the anal sensations, will stimulate her to reach orgasm.

3) Missionary position (man on top, woman on bottom) is the best beginner position for anal sex. It allows the woman to fully relax her anus, making penetration much easier. The woman lies face up with a pillow under her pelvis and her legs pulled up. The man should kneel or lie facing the woman and insert his penis at an angle that is comfortable to both. This anal sex position is also the easiest one for her to climax in because her clitoris is stimulated by the friction from your penis rubbing against it as you are penetrating her beautiful bottom slowly and gently. Remember that this position also allows for deep, passionate kissing and caressing because of the face-to-face contact.

Anal sex should not lessen the love and respect shared between the two of you. These positions will help your woman,enjoy anal sex more by making her feel that she is giving herself to you and not just being "used." Naturally, the more she enjoys anal sex, the more she'll be willing to do it. Not only that, but the intimacy shared in your lovemaking will strengthen the bonds of your relationship.

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

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5 Advanced Anal Sex Techniques

According to a federal study released in 2005, 40 percent of men and 35 percent of women surveyed in 2002 said they have had anal sex with an opposite-sex partner. Given that five of my top ten posts all-time are about anal sex, I'm sure the numbers haveonly increased since then. That means that a lot of couples have moved beyond anal sex for beginners and are looking for way to make anal sex even hotter. Here are five advanced anal sex techniques to try.

1) Try different positions: on your back with your legs on his shoulders; both of you on your sides like spoons; you bent over the edge of the bed, him kneeling on the floor behind you, etc. Positions that require a lot of leg tension on your part are not as simple to do at first (standing, bent over, hands and knees, propped against a wall, squatting or kneeling over his penis, etc.), although they may give you more control of depth and thrusting (assuming you want control). One position I've grown to like is lying on my stomach with my hips raised a little on a pillow. I’m pinned down, so I just relax and let him do me.

2) Now that you know you can accept his penis, try alternately relaxing your anus when he thrusts into you, and then tightening slightly as he withdraws. This feels wonderful to both of you!

3) As a variation on (2) above, he can hold you to keep you from moving your body, slide deep into you, and, while not thrusting himself, have you squeeze and release with just your anal muscles until he ejaculates. Quite difficult, but worth it.

4) Have him deep inside your vagina before you or he inserts a butt plug. This suddenly makes your vagina seem much tighter, and then, of course, you can both enjoy the snug fit.

5) Don't always use the bedroom. With practice and repetition, you may find you don't need to go through as much preparation for anal sex. Some women, with a fair amount of experience, find they only need to apply some lubrication to their partner's penis and they are ready. Keep small packets of lubricant on you at all times since you never know when your partner may want to "bend you over."

As with all sex, the more you practice, the more enjoyable anal sex will be, since you get used to it and you know how to best enjoy it, what angles you need to use, and what tricks and techniques will make it most pleasurable. For those couples who've gotten past their initial concerns about trying anal sex and discovered how enjoyable it can be, advanced anal sex techniques can open up a whole new world of anal pleasure. Even though you are no longer anal virgins, you can still discover new erotic sensations.

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

Read more »