Analingus: Oral Anal Play

Analingus or rimming is the act of performing oral sex of the anal area. Analingus is not a common sexual practice even today, but times are changing. If you are curious and open to new adventures, analingus can bring you a multitude of wonderful sensations and is also an excellent warm-up for anal sex. The anus is lined with many sensitive nerve endings, so when these are stimulated by the touch of a warm, wet tongue, the result can be quite pleasurable. The key to enjoying these new sensations is to get over any inhibitions and embrace analingus as an incredibly sensual and intimate act between lovers.

How to Perform Analingus

Cleanliness is even more of a issue with analingus than with genital oral sex. Taking a bath or shower together is a relaxing form of foreplay and will allow your partner to get squeaky clean. You and your partner should soap your butt and anus, inserting a finger into the rectum, and rinse thoroughly with warm water. An enema usually isn't necessary if you wash well.

Like other forms of oral sex, take your time, relax, and gradually arouse your partner. You could start with genital oral sex, and then as your partner's body becomes more aroused, it can be a natural progression to lick further south. If you are performing cunnilingus, be sure not to go back up to the vagina after licking the anus in order to prevent any bacterial infection.

The greatest pleasure of analingus comes from tender kisses, loving licks and variations of tongue movements circling in and around the anus, igniting all those sensitive nerve endings. You can use both hands to spread the anus wide and then point your tongue and insert it in and out.

Analingus Positions

Sideways 69 is a good position to start out with. Regular 69 can be a bit tricky for you to get in to a comfortable and accessible position that you can both enjoy, but if you both turn side on, you can massage, lick, and suck to your mutual delight. When you are ready and feel completely comfortable with exposure, try the following positions:

Doggy

Doggy is where the receiver assumes the doggy position kneeling down, and the giver kneels behind and gently spreads each butt check to expose the anus.

Bent Over

This position is self-explanatory. However, you can modify it by the receiver bending over the edge of a bed or chair to maximize comfort for both parties.

Legs Up

In this position, the receiver lies on their back with their legs open and bent, knees drawn up to their chest. The giver lies on their stomach in front. This position can be made more comfortable with the receiver lying on the edge of the bed, and the giver keeling in front.

Analingus is an intimate act that requires a high level of comfort with your sexual partner. If you both want it, analingus can be a wonderful experience for a couple. The total acceptance of each other's bodies with no part being off limits can strengthen both the sexual and emotional connection with your lover.

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

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Anal Play for Beginners

Once considered taboo, attitudes towards anal play have relaxed in the last two or three decades. Research shows that more and more people are enjoying anal play. In the US, a 2002 survey showed that 40% of men and 35% of women had tried anal sex with an opposite sex partner. If you're new to anal play, anal fingering is the best way to start experiencing anal pleasure. Follow these four steps to ensure a fun and pleasurable first-time experience.

Cleanliness is essential with virtually all forms of this type of play. A bath or a shower is a great primer, and can be the start of the festivities. Once your finger(s) have been inside her anus, don't put them anywhere else until you wash them. Carelessness in this regard can cause a very serious infection. Assess their responses to your actions and react accordingly.

Without going too close to her anus, explore her inner thighs and bottom with your hands and mouth. Some women have had bad experiences with anal play in their history, mostly because their partner moved much faster, or less gently, than they should have. If this is true in your case, getting her to talk about the topic is a great way to start. By learning where they went wrong, you can prevent that experience from happening again.

Make sure to have a good lubricant, use plenty of it, and start as slowly as possible. Apply a fair amount of lubricant on your finger, and start by making little circles around her anus with a finger. If you feel her clenching her anus, you need to find a way to help her relax, as progressing deeper while she is 'tight' will only cause another bad experience. Kissing her on the mouth and all over her body or performing cunnilingus, are just a couple of ways to ease her anxieties. If you get a chance to put on some music and candles ahead of time, it should help her be more comfortable.

Once inside, you can start playing to see what she likes. Start slowly and gently, and make sure to pay attention to her reactions when you speed up and/or add pressure. A few moves to get you started are moving your finger in a circular motion exploring the walls of her rectum, moving in circular motions along a specific region, moving in and out, or rotating your hand to spin your finger. After learning what you can from these techniques, start mixing two, three, or more of them together. Always remember that it is a very sensitive area; so be gentle and watch her reactions before going further.

If your partner is not open to this form of sexual play, don't force the issue! If your partner refuses, try to open her up to the idea by exploring the area more often with your hands. She'll slowly get used to being touched around there, and it won't seem as big of a deal. Ultimately, however, if your partner says "no,"then accept it graciously and try something else you both like!

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

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How to Make Her Want Anal Sex

Do you want to have anal sex with your wife or girlfriend, but are uncertain about her reaction? Many women are curious about anal sex, but are scared about comfort and safety issues. Some women who are unwilling to try anal sex with their current partner may have had a bad experience with an impatient or ignorant lover in the past. That's why I don't recommend asking a woman for anal sex without some careful preparation. Instead of asking her to try anal sex, it's better to make her want anal sex.

Anal sex can be very pleasurable for women because the rectum shares a wall with the vagina, and the sexual nerves are actually closer on that side, which makes the sensation unique, stronger and quite possibly orgasmic. My post Anal Sex from a Female Perspective describes what anal sex feels like for a woman. I am a firm believer that once a woman experiences the sensual pleasure that anal play can bring, she’ll allow you to explore the possibilities a little further, and, given sufficient time and patience, will eventually allow you to take it to the ultimate step of full anal penetration.

The key to the approach I recommend is to "train" her to associate anal sensations with sexual pleasure. The next time you’re going down on her (twice as many women orgasm from oral sex as from intercourse), move your hands around and cup her butt cheeks, squeeze and massage them, and then let your finger(s) wander into her crack a little bit. Get her to pull her legs back towards her head (so you can have better access to her vagina), and lightly bite/nibble around her butt in places you can reach, and run your tongue as close to her crack as you can comfortably (for you and her).

You must keep your eyes and ears open during this to gauge her response. If she moans a little louder, squirms a little bit more, or provides some other positive feedback, then go on to the next step. If she jerks away or gives you a negative reaction, don’t press the issue. Just try again the next time and hope for a more positive reaction.

If you’ve gotten your positive feedback, and are confident about proceeding, lube up a finger and slide it down into the crack of her butt and over her anus (this assumes she’s pulling her legs back for easy access). Don’t let it linger there. Just run it right over the anus slowly and see how she responds. Again, judge her reaction to decide whether or not you should proceed.

If you get another favorable reaction, try it again and this time, let your finger linger there, and perhaps perform some light massage on the anus, especially as you are performing cunnilingus on her. Her nerve endings will already be lit up down there, and everything in that area is interconnected anyway. As long as she doesn’t think you’re about to invade, you should get a noticeable increase in positive feedback.

Assuming you are successful, put a little lube on your finger and slowly, with circular motions, stroke the outside of her opening. Then gradually insert your finger inside the anus. Do not move it at first. Just allow her to enjoy the sensation of fullness in the anus.

Slowly insert the finger up to the end and make circular motions with the whole wrist, without moving the finger in and out. These motions will be felt in the vagina. While you're doing this, do something else, such kiss her breasts or stimulate her clitoris. Try to make her experience pleasurable. A woman who enjoys anal foreplay will eventually begin to give anal penetration some serious thought.

Getting her highly aroused goes a long way toward reducing inhibitions. If you take advantage of her uninhibited state, you can probably progress to the point where she’ll allow you to penetrate her anus with a finger, then two, and maybe even proceed to the point of using a small sex toy. The key here is to make sure that you don’t rush things. If you take your time, and let her get comfortable with the idea of anal play, you should eventually reach the point where she’ll seriously consider allowing you to try full anal penetration with your penis.

When she does, be sure to follow the 10 Steps to Great First-Time Anal Sex unless you want the first time to be the last time. A bad experience can turn her off to anal sex altogether - at least with you. On the other hand, anal sex can be one of the most erotic and satisfying sexual practices a woman can enjoy. It's a different, tighter sensation than vaginal sex, and, if the clitoris and/or vagina are stimulated while you're inside her, it can take her to another sexual realm.

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

Read more »