The Family Vices (Rachel & Ellen, on "patrol")

THE FAMILY VICEs 

 

Officer Russ Howe: Dad, I can’t believe after 25 years on the force, that you still go on patrol, undercover in full DRAG.  And you look so fucking hot to boot!

Sgt. Eddie Howe: And you seem to have inherited my sexy legs GIRL!  I could never handle a desk job.  Now remember our cover – I’m Ellen and you’re my daughter Rachel, so you need to call me Mom, OK.  We’re posing as two transsexual prostitutes, turning tricks here on the Boulevard.  We’re trying to collect enough evidence to convict our “pimp”, Tony T.  Now, what do you say if a potential John wants to pick you up and you give him a blow job in his car?

Rachel: $50 – and an additional $50 if he wants to go down on my “clitoris.”

Ellen:  Good girl!  Now much does it cost for him to fuck you in the ass?

Rachel: $100 in the car, but for $500 he gets both of us and the hotel room thrown in for the night.  Plus another $100 if we put on a “show” for him, Mom.

Ellen: Yeah but that’s usually something Tony “arranges” for his mobster friends or the athletes he has connections with.  Did you enjoy that weekend in Vegas we spent with the guys from our hometown basketball team, honey?

Rachel:  Fuck yea, especially since we have season tickets for their games.  So Mom, I was wondering… won’t Internal Affairs or the brass upstairs come down on us for really whoring ourselves out instead of busting perps and going after Tony?

Ellen: Rachel, you’re such a blonde bimbo!  Who do you think Tony’s biggest customer is?  Chief Taylor is!  Don’t you remember when he came to your 18th birthday party, and he spent the night with us?  He loves shemales like you and me!

Rachel:  Hey you’re  a blonde bimbo too Mom!  And he’s been so nice to me ever since he coached me in Little League.  He’s been so kind to us, hasn’t he?

Ellen:  Yea, Warren is a great friend, boss, and good God, that man’s dick is HUGE!  Speaking of which…  

Hey buddy, looking for a good time tonight?  You got your choice– mother, daughter, or both of us whores if you can handle it! ;)