5 Advanced Anal Sex Techniques

According to a federal study released in 2005, 40 percent of men and 35 percent of women surveyed in 2002 said they have had anal sex with an opposite-sex partner. Given that five of my top ten posts all-time are about anal sex, I'm sure the numbers haveonly increased since then. That means that a lot of couples have moved beyond anal sex for beginners and are looking for way to make anal sex even hotter. Here are five advanced anal sex techniques to try.

1) Try different positions: on your back with your legs on his shoulders; both of you on your sides like spoons; you bent over the edge of the bed, him kneeling on the floor behind you, etc. Positions that require a lot of leg tension on your part are not as simple to do at first (standing, bent over, hands and knees, propped against a wall, squatting or kneeling over his penis, etc.), although they may give you more control of depth and thrusting (assuming you want control). One position I've grown to like is lying on my stomach with my hips raised a little on a pillow. I’m pinned down, so I just relax and let him do me.

2) Now that you know you can accept his penis, try alternately relaxing your anus when he thrusts into you, and then tightening slightly as he withdraws. This feels wonderful to both of you!

3) As a variation on (2) above, he can hold you to keep you from moving your body, slide deep into you, and, while not thrusting himself, have you squeeze and release with just your anal muscles until he ejaculates. Quite difficult, but worth it.

4) Have him deep inside your vagina before you or he inserts a butt plug. This suddenly makes your vagina seem much tighter, and then, of course, you can both enjoy the snug fit.

5) Don't always use the bedroom. With practice and repetition, you may find you don't need to go through as much preparation for anal sex. Some women, with a fair amount of experience, find they only need to apply some lubrication to their partner's penis and they are ready. Keep small packets of lubricant on you at all times since you never know when your partner may want to "bend you over."

As with all sex, the more you practice, the more enjoyable anal sex will be, since you get used to it and you know how to best enjoy it, what angles you need to use, and what tricks and techniques will make it most pleasurable. For those couples who've gotten past their initial concerns about trying anal sex and discovered how enjoyable it can be, advanced anal sex techniques can open up a whole new world of anal pleasure. Even though you are no longer anal virgins, you can still discover new erotic sensations.

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

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How to Have Anal Sex with a Big Penis

Can a penis be too big for anal sex? Probably not, though size does matter. However, a big penis doesn't have to be a deal breaker. With proper preparation, enough lubrication, the right position, and relaxation techniques, having anal sex with a big penis can be comfortable and pleasurable.

1) Preparation. One way to prepare yourself for anal sex with a big penis is butt plugs. Get one butt plug as large as the diameter of your partner's penis and one or two smaller ones. Use the smaller ones as "trainers," if necessary, and work up to being able to insert the largest one. You can wear a butt plug during the day to prepare for anal sex that evening, or wait to insert it prior to foreplay. If you wear it while having vaginal sex, he will love how tight it makes your vagina feel. Once you're able to insert and wear the large butt plug, penetration with his penis should then be fairly comfortable.

2) Lubrication. Since the anal region is not self-lubricating, lubricants are essential to reduce friction and discomfort during anal sex, and even more so with a big penis. A good choice for anal sex is Astroglide, a super-smooth, long-lasting lubricant that can be found at many neighborhood pharmacies. Use as much lube as possible. You really can’t use too much.

3) Position. Though doggy-style may be the most popular anal sex position, it’s not necessarily the best one if your partner has a big penis. Missionary position (man on top, woman on bottom) allows the woman to fully relax her anus, making penetration much easier. Another good position is side anal or "spooning." The woman lies on one side, and the man approaches from the rear. The woman can relax her anus, and the man can easily access the entire anal area.

4) Relaxation. If you have pain when his penis is inserted, have your partner stop, but not pull out. He should just hold his position while you take several slow, deep breaths and relax the anal muscles. Pushing out (as you would for a bowel movement) will help to open those muscles and allow them relax against the penis. The pain should subside though you may still might feel some discomfort from having something pushing into you and being stretched open. Try to stay relaxed as he continues to push his penis in further. Any time it hurts, have your partner stop while you take slow, deep breaths, push out, and relax until the pain subsides.

If the man exercises patience and control, most women will be able to accommodate any size penis using the above techniques. The incredible sensations of fullness for a woman and tightness for the man make anal sex with a big penis worth the extra time and effort.

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

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How to Make Her Want Anal Sex

Do you want to have anal sex with your wife or girlfriend, but are uncertain about her reaction? Many women are curious about anal sex, but are scared about comfort and safety issues. Some women who are unwilling to try anal sex with their current partner may have had a bad experience with an impatient or ignorant lover in the past. That's why I don't recommend asking a woman for anal sex without some careful preparation. Instead of asking her to try anal sex, it's better to make her want anal sex.

Anal sex can be very pleasurable for women because the rectum shares a wall with the vagina, and the sexual nerves are actually closer on that side, which makes the sensation unique, stronger and quite possibly orgasmic. My post Anal Sex from a Female Perspective describes what anal sex feels like for a woman. I am a firm believer that once a woman experiences the sensual pleasure that anal play can bring, she’ll allow you to explore the possibilities a little further, and, given sufficient time and patience, will eventually allow you to take it to the ultimate step of full anal penetration.

The key to the approach I recommend is to "train" her to associate anal sensations with sexual pleasure. The next time you’re going down on her (twice as many women orgasm from oral sex as from intercourse), move your hands around and cup her butt cheeks, squeeze and massage them, and then let your finger(s) wander into her crack a little bit. Get her to pull her legs back towards her head (so you can have better access to her vagina), and lightly bite/nibble around her butt in places you can reach, and run your tongue as close to her crack as you can comfortably (for you and her).

You must keep your eyes and ears open during this to gauge her response. If she moans a little louder, squirms a little bit more, or provides some other positive feedback, then go on to the next step. If she jerks away or gives you a negative reaction, don’t press the issue. Just try again the next time and hope for a more positive reaction.

If you’ve gotten your positive feedback, and are confident about proceeding, lube up a finger and slide it down into the crack of her butt and over her anus (this assumes she’s pulling her legs back for easy access). Don’t let it linger there. Just run it right over the anus slowly and see how she responds. Again, judge her reaction to decide whether or not you should proceed.

If you get another favorable reaction, try it again and this time, let your finger linger there, and perhaps perform some light massage on the anus, especially as you are performing cunnilingus on her. Her nerve endings will already be lit up down there, and everything in that area is interconnected anyway. As long as she doesn’t think you’re about to invade, you should get a noticeable increase in positive feedback.

Assuming you are successful, put a little lube on your finger and slowly, with circular motions, stroke the outside of her opening. Then gradually insert your finger inside the anus. Do not move it at first. Just allow her to enjoy the sensation of fullness in the anus.

Slowly insert the finger up to the end and make circular motions with the whole wrist, without moving the finger in and out. These motions will be felt in the vagina. While you're doing this, do something else, such kiss her breasts or stimulate her clitoris. Try to make her experience pleasurable. A woman who enjoys anal foreplay will eventually begin to give anal penetration some serious thought.

Getting her highly aroused goes a long way toward reducing inhibitions. If you take advantage of her uninhibited state, you can probably progress to the point where she’ll allow you to penetrate her anus with a finger, then two, and maybe even proceed to the point of using a small sex toy. The key here is to make sure that you don’t rush things. If you take your time, and let her get comfortable with the idea of anal play, you should eventually reach the point where she’ll seriously consider allowing you to try full anal penetration with your penis.

When she does, be sure to follow the 10 Steps to Great First-Time Anal Sex unless you want the first time to be the last time. A bad experience can turn her off to anal sex altogether - at least with you. On the other hand, anal sex can be one of the most erotic and satisfying sexual practices a woman can enjoy. It's a different, tighter sensation than vaginal sex, and, if the clitoris and/or vagina are stimulated while you're inside her, it can take her to another sexual realm.

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

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Bend Over Boyfriend: How to Make HIM Want Anal Sex

More and more men are becoming interested in anal pleasure and comfortable with the idea of letting their female partners take control in bed. Bend Over Boyfriend (BOB) or pegging means that a woman uses a strap-on dildo to penetrate her male partner anally. Anal penetration stimulates the prostate gland, which is sometimes called the male “G-spot.” An orgasm from prostate stimulation can be the most intense a man can have.

Some couples enjoy the taboo of the woman penetrating her male partner. Many women also enjoy the role reversal of BOB and the feeling of being in control of their man’s pleasure. Some women can even have orgasms while penetrating their partner.

If you’re interested in exploring BOB with your partner, bring it up and see how he feels about it. If he's had anal sex with you, and you've enjoyed it, you have an advantage in persuading him that he would enjoy it, too. You can point out that you enjoy anal sex even though you don't have a prostate gland, so he's sure to enjoy it even more than you do. (That may not be altogether true, but it sounds logical.) Also, if you've already done some anal play with him during sex, you're that much closer to taking things one step further.

Even if he rejects the idea out of hand, you can use your feminine wiles to change his mind. The approach I recommend is similar to the one in my post How to Make Her Want Anal Sex except tailored for the male body. You will train” him to associate anal sensations with sexual pleasure because I’m a firm believer that, once a man experiences the sensual pleasure that anal play can bring, he’ll allow you to explore the possibilities a little further. Given sufficient time and patience, he will eventually allow you to take it to the ultimate step of full anal penetration with a strap-on dildo. For some men, though, there may be an additional obstacle to overcome, which I'll talk about later.

The best time to initiate anal play is when he is turned on and desperately wants you to keep on doing whatever you're doing. Now when do you think that might be? That's right - when you're giving him head. The next time you're sucking and licking his penis, let your finger(s) wander into his crack a little bit. Massage his perineum - the area between the scrotum and the anus.

Keep your eyes and ears open during this to gauge his response. If he moans a little louder, squirms a little bit more, or provides some other positive feedback, then go on to the next step. If he jerks away or gives you a negative reaction, don’t press the issue. Just try again the next time and hope for a more positive reaction.

If you’ve gotten your positive feedback, and are confident about proceeding, lube up a finger and slide it down into the crack of his butt and over his anus. Don’t let it linger there. Just run it right over the anus slowly and see how he responds. Again, judge his reaction to decide whether or not you should proceed.

If you get another favorable reaction, try it again and this time, let your finger linger there, and perhaps perform some light massage on the anus. Assuming you are successful, put a little lube on your finger and slowly, with circular motions, stroke the outside of his opening.

Then gradually insert your finger inside the anus. Do not move it at first. Just allow him to enjoy the sensation of fullness in the anus. Next, slowly insert the finger up to the end and make circular motions with the whole wrist, without moving the finger in and out. Try to make his experience pleasurable. The key here is to make sure that you don’t rush things.

Once your man has allowed you to penetrate him with a finger, the next step is to suggest a prostate massage. If you have to, you can stress the health benefits - especially if he's over 30 - and emphasize how much better it will be for you, rather than a doctor, to massage his prostate. My post Prostate Massage for the Ultimate Male Orgasm tells you how to give a man a much more intense orgasm than he may have ever experienced before.

After experiencing a sensual prostate massage, it won't take much persuading for some men to reach the conclusion that something bigger pressing against their prostate might feel even better than your fingers. However, don't go shopping for your strap-on just yet because for many men there will be one more big obstacle to overcome: the fear that if they enjoy penetration with a penis-shaped object that it means they're gay or that you will think they are.

Of course, the first fear only makes sense if you don't examine it too closely. By that reasoning, a straight man shouldn't enjoy oral sex since gay men do. Because all men have the same sexual parts, they're able to enjoy the same sensations. It's not what you do, but who you do it with that determines whether someone is straight or gay.

The second fear is trickier. BOB puts a man in an extremely vulnerable position, not only physically, but also psychologically. He may be afraid that if he allows you to bend him over, that you won't think of him as a real man anymore. You have to reassure him that what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom.

Once your man agrees to let you take him anally, follow the advice in my post How to Bend Over Your Boyfriend and Make Him Like It to ensure that it's a great experience for both of you. If you read some of the comments about the post, you'll see that he may be in for the sexual experience of his life, and you may be, too. Bend Over Boyfriend is a sexual practice that comes with deep potential for personal growth and really hot sex!

If you're like many people, you've had a satisfying sex life, but deep down you know there's something missing, something you still yearn for. You're looking for new heights of sexual satisfaction. Don't let another night pass without experiencing deep sexual bliss. Make today the day you take your lovemaking to unimagined levels of fulfillment. To learn Tantra sex tips that work, click here.

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Anal Sex from a Female Perspective

Anal sex is one of the most erotic and satisfying sexual practices a woman and her partner can enjoy. Anal sex is a different, tighter sensation than vaginal sex. The rectum, once it’s ready, literally swallows the penis up and can’t get enough. If the clitoris and/or vagina are stimulated while your man is inside you, it can take you to another sexual realm. It's pretty intense, no matter what, and the increased tightness back there makes it just that much better.

I still faithfully follow the 10 Steps to Great First-Time Anal Sex to ensure that the experience will be pleasurable rather than painful. Oral sex or even intercourse helps me to relax and feel at ease before engaging in anal sex. Something that really helps me to relax the anal sphincters is my partner rubbing my butt cheeks softly, spreading them, and then squeezing them together. That and him teasing my anus very slowly with his fingers and tongue makes sure I'm very ready.

As for positions, though doggie-style may be the most popular anal sex position, missionary position (man on top, woman on bottom) allows me to fully relax my anus, making penetration much easier. I describe my favorite variations in 3 Great Anal Sex Positions.

I like my partner to go very slowly while inserting his penis into me. First of all, it allows the anal sphincters to gradually adjust. Secondly, I love the erotic sensation of gradually being filled by his penis. It feels like I'm swallowing him. I really like to control the pace by being the one to slowly push back on him at the pace I'm ready to take him.

Anal penetration is an entirely different feeling than vaginal penetration. There's a lot more pressure just before actual penetration. First, there's an intense feeling of pressure as the head presses against you, which builds up a feeling of anticipation. Then there's a release of pure pleasure as the head slips through. You really notice the change in diameter as the head moves inside. You feel the length of the shaft sliding in with every nerve ending you can imagine. If you're relaxed enough, it feels amazing when he gets through the second sphincter.

One of the most exquisite sensations for me of anal sex is when he pulls out and then slides back in the first time. The in-stroke is intensely sensual. I love slow at first, but there comes a point where I want to him to speed up and just take me hard and fast. It's then that I feel completely full. The sensation is very different from having him in my vagina. Everything is so very tight, and the pressure is what causes the pleasure. The anal passage is being stimulated while at the same time there is pressure on my G-spot through the wall of the vagina.

I can orgasm rather quickly after penetration, especially since I usually rub my clitoris once he's inside me. it's an amazing feeling to squeeze my partner's penis as my anal muscles contract around him. I usually climax so hard and squeeze him so tightly that he has a hard time moving because the sensation is so intense for him. If he stays inside me after I've had one orgasm, I can usually have another although I prefer to return to a slower pace for a while until we build up again. When he ejaculates, it's much better because I can actually feel him shoot whereas, vaginally, I usually can't.

Anal sex can feel absolutely incredible. It's different in sensation - it's deep inside, it's not the clitoris, and isn't in the vagina, but feels strangely like both in a sort of mixed-up combination in another part of the body. It doesn’t feel like anything else you may have felt before. Women who don’t enjoy anal sex are probably doing it wrong.

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

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3 Great Anal Sex Positions

Anal sex is a firm favorite with many men and women, and there are lots of sex positions in which you can try it. Two important aspects of a good anal sex position are that it allows the woman to be relaxed and physically comfortable, and that it gives the man access to the area. Because anal sex is a much slower form of penetrative sex, it’s important to find a position that you’re comfortable in and isn’t too taxing on your body. Below are three great anal sex positions.

1) Knees on Chest: The knees on chest position, with the woman lying on her back with her legs up, can be a great first-time sex position. Both partner’s bodies are close to the "ground," which allows for more relaxation and less work. It also allows for plenty of physical touching, which is so important to women during anal sex. Placing a pillow under the woman's lower back can be helpful.

2) Cocoon: If you've already tried anal sex, here's a position to get your man deeper inside than ever before. Lie on the bed with your bottom on the edge and your legs raised. Make sure you have a pillow or two under your pelvis to make it easier for him to penetrate your anus.

With your man standing in front of you, bend your knees and rest your feet on his chest while he begins to enter your anus very slowly. Once he's inside to the depth that's comfortable for you, speed up or slow down the thrusting as you like.

2) Jack Hammer: Even though the name suggests fast, hard thrusting, you can mix it up for varying sensations To perform the Jack Hammer, put some pillows underneath your butt and lower back, and then hoist both of your legs over your man's shoulders as he kneels between your legs.

Your man should take it easy to begin with and insert his penis an inch at a time, checking to make sure you're is comfortable at each stage. He doesn't even have to fully insert his penis in this anal position, as the tip of his penis will be squeezed by your tight anal sphincter muscles, which will be enjoyable for you too.

For men and women, anal sex is a different, tighter sensation than vaginal sex. It is also often a "first time for everything" type of activity which can also be nice - doing something you've never done before, ever. If you're considering trying anal sex for the first time, make sure that you follow the 10 Steps to Great First-Time Anal Sex. Practice makes perfect, and it’s the ability to maneuver oneself and try different styles that allows anal sex to be pleasurable.

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

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Analingus: The Dark Kiss

Analingus, also known as the "dark kiss" or rimming, is oral stimulation of the anus. For many people, analingus is a sensuous experience, both on the giving and the receiving end. Some say there is nothing as arousing as having their lover’s warm, soft tongue and lips giving them pleasure in such an incredibly intimate place, and those who love to give it find the experience equally as arousing. Because the delicate pucker of the anus is packed with sensitive nerve endings, analingus can produce exquisite, erotic sensations.

Analingus can also be a great introduction to the sensation of anal penetration. For men and women who enjoy being penetrated, this is a delicious tease for the main course to come, and for men who aren’t sure about penetration, with analingus they can comfortably try out the sensation of anal stimulation to see if they might like it.

Cleanliness is even more of a issue with analingus than with traditional oral sex. Taking a bath or shower together is a relaxing form of foreplay and will allow your partner to get squeaky clean. You or your partner should thoroughly soap the butt and anus, inserting a finger into the rectum, and rinsing thoroughly with warm water.

The easiest position for analingus is doggie-style with the receiver on all fours. This way you can gently spread their cheeks with your hands, and see everything clearly as you dip your tongue in and out. Doggie-style licking also provides a fantastic rear view, and allows you to squeeze, rub, and pull on other areas as you lick. Those receivers with lower back pain or mobility issues can simulate the doggie position by lying on their stomachs with pillows under their hips, comfortably raising their butts for optimal licking.

With the delicate pucker of the anus in full view, gently kiss and lick their cheeks as they slope inwards toward the crack. Work your way closer into the furrow, taking your time to let them get used to the sensation, or to tease them if you know they like it. You can have your partner reach back and pull their own ass cheeks apart, which will greatly help you and make it less tiring and easier for you to lick.

You can make your first touch of the anus in several ways:

• With softened lips, kiss it directly.
• With the very tip of your tongue, lightly lick in a circle around the rim of the opening – "rimming" them.
• Lick the entire furrow with a big, flat tongue from top to bottom like an ice cream cone.
• Press your flattened tongue against the opening and hold it, and then slowly start to move it in an up and down or an in and out massage.

You can start with one of these and try them all out to see what they like. Since different people like different techniques, experiment with the ones below also to see which your partner enjoys the most.

• Flicking: Gently flick the tip of the tongue across the outer rim of the anus.
• Ringing the Bell: Push your tongue against the anus, and then remove it, as though you were ringing a doorbell.
• Licking: Use your full tongue to lick completely across the anus.
• Probing: Insert the tongue as far into the anus as you can, then probe around with the tip. After a bit of gentle probing, the sphincter muscles should start to relax and welcome deeper exploration.

Many people won't orgasm by anal sex alone, so you should keep analingus fairly brief or keep them stimulated in some other way at the same time.

Analingus is one of the most intimate of all sexual acts. If both partners approach it with openness and enthusiasm, they will be rewarded with unparalleled enjoyment whether analingus is the main course, a spicy side dish, or an appetizer for anal penetration.

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

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Why Do Some Couples Enjoy Bend Over Boyfriend?

Bend Over Boyfriend (BOB) or pegging means that a woman uses a strap-on dildo to penetrate her male partner anally. Why do some couples enjoy Bend Over Boyfriend? There are many reasons for practicing this sex activity, but the most common one is that Bend Over Boyfriend allows a man to receive anal pleasure. More and more men are becoming interested in anal pleasure and comfortable with the idea of letting their female partners take control in bed.

Anal penetration stimulates the prostate gland, which is sometimes called the male "G-spot."An orgasm from prostate stimulation can be the most intense a man can have. Anal pleasure isn't the only benefit of pegging for men though. Being penetrated can be a profound emotional, psychological, and spiritual experience. Here's how some male readers responded to my post How to Bend Over Your Boyfriend and Make Him Like It:

For those who may have not tried this be assured many men really desire it and it is not because they have homosexual tendencies or are secretly gay. It is simply that the feelnig is fantastic. Also the relinquishment of control to your female partner is very empowering for them. Above the intensity of male orgasm is much ehnhanced and the extent of ejaculation often much more than in standard sexul acts - try it !! - masok

Excellent Post.

I find that starting with some fingering is a great way to get things going, and when she inserts her finger in your anus you will feel a sense of connection to her that you could have never imagined until you do this.

My favorite position is that modified missionary position with the pillow, but I love to finish lying on my stomach, with her pressing her body against my back, incredible! - Marcello

Nice article, and I’m with you 100%. As a straight married couple, strap-on play has been a part of playtime for a few years. There is a freaky feeling when Mrs Kink orgasms while taking me… quite the role reversal. I also think that she’s surprised every time I “beg” for more, by moving backwards into her as you accurately describe. Thumbs up from us. =) - Mr. Kink

As the above comment indicates, women enjoy pegging their men as much as their men enjoy being pegged. Here's how two women describe their experience.

For me there was a strange feeling of real power when I looked down for the first time and saw a nice cock jutting out from between my legs. I surprised my man by making him suck my “cock” before I fucked him. It was so hot. He was also surprised when he climaxed with touching himself. He said that the sight of me fucking him, the feelings in his ass, and watching my tits bounce were all too much for him and he just came and came. I climaxed also from the power thing and the stimulation of the base of the dildo on my clit when I pounded into him. I totally recommend this if he has any interest in anal play at all. - Toni

This is an excellent article. One of the things I remember when i tried this with an ex was how I didn’t really have a good way to tell what was going on “down there.” Without the sense of touch to tell me how hard or soft I was doing things, I started out really nervous about hurting him. A step by step set of instructions like the ones above would have helped. Of course, with his direction I got into it eventually and we had a GREAT time. - Misty (Miss K)

Any sort of anal sex requires tremendous trust and a lot of communication. If you’re interested in exploring BOB, bring it up and see how your partner feels about it. Choose your time wisely, and be prepared for some hesitation at first. There is an element of role reversal and gender bending with BOB, and people can have unexpected reactions at first. Bend Over Boyfriend is a sexual practice that comes with deep potential for personal growth and really hot sex!

If you're like many people, you've had a satisfying sex life, but deep down you know there's something missing, something you still yearn for. You're looking for new heights of sexual satisfaction. Don't let another night pass without experiencing deep sexual bliss. Make today the day you take your lovemaking to unimagined levels of fulfillment. To learn Tantra sex tips that work, click here.

Read more »

How to Bend Over Your Boyfriend and Make Him Like It

While it still remains taboo in some circles, heterosexual anal sex seems to be gaining in popularity, and some couples are even exploring male anal penetration by the female partner, a sexual practice known as Bend Over Boyfriend (BOB) or pegging. These days more and more men are becoming interested in anal pleasure and comfortable with the idea of letting their female partners take control in bed.

If you’ve decided to make your boyfriend’s or husband's strap-on fantasies come true, you need to get the right equipment: a sturdy strap-on dildo and a reliable harness to hold it in place. When starting out, it’s best to choose a dildo on the smaller side, for comfort’s sake. A dildo of 5 to 6 inches in length and 1 to 1.5 inches in diameter should be an adequate size for your first strap-on. Choose a dildo that has a flange at the base that will secure it in a harness, and buy a sturdy harness with adjustable straps, preferably one of leather, vinyl, or other strong material.

Some dildos have an upward curve or special shape designed to stimulate the prostate. The prostate gland is located between the wall of the rectum and the bladder and is about the size of a walnut. It is the male equivalent of a woman’s G-spot, and stimulating it can greatly increase the intensity of the man’s orgasm, and sometimes the force or quantity of his ejaculation. While prostate stimulation can be achieved with a standard dildo, having the angle built in makes it that much easier to hit your man's hot spot.

Once you have your strap-on firmly in place, apply a generous amount of water-based lubricant to the head and shaft of the dildo and to his anus. You may even want to massage the lube into his hole with a finger or two to help relax his sphincter. If you really want to dominate your boyfriend, make him apply the lube to your dildo and his anus himself.

Once you're all lubed up, steady the dildo with one hand and place the head squarely against his anus. The most comfortable position for anal sex is with him lying face up with a pillow under the small of his back and his legs pulled up. You then enter him from on top, in a missionary-style position. In this position, you can kiss him, squeeze his nipples or stroke his penis. However, many couples like having the man bend over something that is less than waist height - a table, a chair, the bed, etc. - or take it doggy-style because these are more submissive postures.

Keeping a grip on the shaft of your dildo, guide the head directly into his anus and gently push it inside him. Instruct him to bear down as if going to the bathroom while you do this, to open up his sphincter muscles. Once the head of the dildo disappears (or the dildo enters into him about an inch or two), pause and let him get used to the feeling of having something up there. Then place your hands on his hips and begin pushing forward steadily until the dildo is all the way in. Take a couple of breaths and let his sphincter adjust and relax. Pull part way out slowly and push back in. Pull out, push in. Continue doing this, increasing your speed and force as you go.

Essentially what you are doing is massaging his prostate gland. Not only will he enjoy this, but it will also make his penis start dripping, and he may even ejaculate without direct penile stimulation. You can increase the stimulation by exerting pressure on the dildo in the direction of the prostate so that the shaft rubs more firmly against it. Also, concentrating your thrusting motions in short, rapid movements will provide more stimulation against that area.

Keep a steady rhythm going, but pay attention to the intensity of his moans and groans, the speed of his breathing, and his body’s actions. Communication is important, so be sure he lets you know what he wants and tells you if he feels any discomfort. Though you may be afraid of hurting him, if he’s begging you to pound him and pushing himself back onto your dildo, it’s a sign to let yourself go. You may find yourself surprised at how turned on you get when you allow yourself to enjoy the feeling of being in control.

Beyond male anal pleasure, there is a lot to explore in the area of role reversals with BOB. It’s a chance to explore the ways you feel - masculine and feminine, bottom and top - and a chance to relate to your partner in a completely different way. Bend Over Boyfriend is a sexual practice that comes with deep potential for personal growth and really hot sex!

If you're a woman who is turned on by the idea of pegging your man, but he's not so eager, try the tips in my post Bend Over Boyfriend: How to Make HIM Want Anal Sex. You may be shopping together for a strap-on sooner than you think!

If you're like many people, you've had a satisfying sex life, but deep down you know there's something missing, something you still yearn for. You're looking for new heights of sexual satisfaction. Don't let another night pass without experiencing deep sexual bliss. Make today the day you take your lovemaking to unimagined levels of fulfillment. To learn Tantra sex tips that work, click here.

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Prostate Massage for the Ultimate Male Orgasm

Usually, we consider the penis to be the only male sex organ, but the prostate is a man's other sexual organ. The prostate is a gland of the male reproductive system located underneath the bladder and just in front of the rectum. Widely considered to be the male equivalent of the female G-spot, there is a lot of pleasure to be had from the prostate. When performed correctly, a prostate massage can give a man a much more intense orgasm than he has ever experienced before.

Since a man already associates pleasure with his penis, the key to making a prostate massage work for your man is to arouse him by giving him a genital massage at the same time. That way, prostate sensations will also be associated with sexual pleasure. Begin by caressing his penis with both hands. Keep the stimulation on his penis going even as one of your hands starts moving down towards his anus. His erection may come and go, but the genital stimulation should continue.

Don't rush into the penetration part of prostate massage. Start with an external massage of the prostate. The perineum is located between the testicles and above the anus and most men find that massaging it is very pleasurable and relaxing. Next, massage his anus using a rhythmic, circular motion. You can gently push on the anus, as if you're ringing a doorbell, without forcing your finger inside. This will help relax the anal sphincter.

Ask him if he's ready for you to "come inside." If he is, apply lubricant to your man's anus and onto your middle or index finger. Then slowly penetrate him with your finger as far as you can go. Once inside, rest a moment while he gets used to the sensation of having something in his anus. Once you’re both comfortable and your finger is fully inside, slowly and carefully curl your finger. You should be able to feel a small, firm bump about the size of a walnut on the uppermost side of his anal passage, in the direction of his navel. This is his prostate gland.

Once you have found the prostate, press or stroke the gland along its sides in a rhythmic motion with the pad of your finger, not your nail. Do not massage the central (top) area because it contains several sensitive nerves. The maximum amount of pressure you should apply would be equal to the amount of pressure you would rub your eye with. Try different forms of stimulation: slight pressure, firm pressure, moving your fingers in small circles, stroking, or maybe even vibrations. By experimenting with different types of stimulation, you will identify what feels best to your man.

By applying more or less pressure to the prostate gland, you can learn to control your man's sensations, even to the point of inhibiting him from ejaculating. The ability to control ejaculation through prostate massage allows for nearly unending stimulation of the his genitals. Pressing on the prostate while he ejaculates can increase intensity of his orgasm even more.

A prostate massage can be very erotic and intense for both partners. It's a very intimate sexual practice that brings a couple closer sexually. You will be learning and putting trust in each other while sharing a new experience.

These days more and more men are becoming interested in anal pleasure and comfortable with the idea of letting their female partners take control in bed, and some couples are even exploring male anal penetration by the female partner, a sexual practice known as Bend Over Boyfriend (BOB) or pegging. If you have never tried (or even heard of) this sexual practice, read my tutorial How to Bend Over Your Boyfriend and Make Him Like It.

If you're like many people, you've had a satisfying sex life, but deep down you know there's something missing, something you still yearn for. You're looking for new heights of sexual satisfaction. Don't let another night pass without experiencing deep sexual bliss. Make today the day you take your lovemaking to unimagined levels of fulfillment. To learn Tantra sex tips that work, click here.

Read more »

10 Steps to Great First-Time Anal Sex

Many people believe that anal intercourse hurts and that it is always an uncomfortable experience. This is quite simply false. If it hurts, you're doing it wrong. Actually, anal intercourse can provide a unique form of pleasure for both men and women. Anal sex is enjoyable for men because the tight anal sphincter rings provide strong sensations to a thrusting penis.

Generally, for women, the pleasure derived from anal intercourse is due to the shared nerve endings located between the rectal wall and the vagina, and/or from indirect stimulation of the G-spot. The anus contains many nerves as well, which can also react in a pleasurable manner when excited. My post Anal Sex from a Female Perspective describes what anal sex feels like for a woman. If you want to try anal sex with your wife or girlfriend, but are uncertain of her reaction, use the approach I recommend in How to Make Her Want Anal Sex.

If you follow the ten steps below, you can ensure that your first anal sex experience is pleasurable rather than painful.

1) Get clean. It goes without saying that if you're sexually stimulating an area that's usually devoted to elimination, you need to ensure that it's squeaky clean. Have a relaxing bath or shower beforehand and thoroughly clean the area. If you're self-conscious about your lover seeing your anus in full for the first time, why not gently shave or wax the skin between your butt cheeks? You'll be surprised how much more relaxed and confident this will make you.

2) Don’t rush into it. Engaging in foreplay or even intercourse before trying anal sex for the first time can help you relax. Analingus (oral-anal contact) is another great way to "warm-up" the anus and can be very pleasurable in and of itself. Run your tongue over the anus, licking it in soft, wet strokes, or circle it, running your tongue around the edge of it slowly and delicately. Flick the tip of your tongue rapidly over the opening, or try inserting your tongue as far as it will go pushing and stroking it back and forth. Try brushing your lips over the spot or sucking hard on the anus.

3) Use lots of lubricant. Since the anal region is not self-lubricating, anal lubricants are extremely helpful for making penetration more comfortable and pleasurable. Water-based and silicone-based lubes work well with both latex and polyurethane condoms. Many couples prefer a thicker lube (a "gel" rather than a “liquid") for anal sex. Use as much lubricant as possible. You really can’t use too much.

4) Fingers first. The sphincter muscles around the anus will not allow things to pass through easily unless you start small and take it slowly. Apply lube to one finger and gently insert it without moving it around in order to condition her to the sensation of something being in her anus. Once she is comfortable with being dilated, slowly start to move your finger in and out and around. Gently stretch her anus by pushing outward on her anal ring, as if it was the center of a clock face, pressing out towards 1, 2, 3 o'clock, etc. Once she has learned to enjoy the insertion of a single finger, try inserting a second. Always go very slowly and be sure she remains relaxed. Don't forget to use lube on each finger you insert.

5) Get in position. Choosing the best position may make the difference between a painful or pleasurable experience. Though doggie-style may be the most popular anal sex position, it’s not necessarily the best one for beginners. Missionary position (man on top, woman on bottom) allows the woman to fully relax her anus, making penetration much easier. My article Which Anal Sex Positions Are Best for Beginners? describes several anal sex positions, and tells you which ones are best for beginners and why.

6) Enter slowly. When you're ready for penetration, take one or both of your hands and use your fingers to pull your butt cheeks gently apart. This will help guide him into your anus without too much prodding, making it a lot easier for both of you. He should begin by slowly and gently inserting the tip of his penis into your anus. Remember that it's normal to feel some discomfort or even slight pain because it's your first time (just like with first-time vaginal sex) though if you're in a great deal of pain or feel very uncomfortable, ask your partner to stop immediately.

7) Go deeper. Once your partner has inserted the tip of his penis, ask him to slowly penetrate your anus further, but at a gentle pace that you feel comfortable with. This means it could take anywhere from 30 seconds to five minutes before his penis is fully inserted. Breathing deeply and talking him through what you’re feeling will help keep you both stay relaxed. Continue like this until his penis is fully submerged.

8) Gradually build momentum. Once his penis is fully inserted, the key to great anal sex varying the angle, depth, and speed of thrusting and gradually building up momentum. Clenching your anus can enhance the sensation for your partner.

9) Don't forget the rest of her body. Stimulating other parts of her body during anal sex can help make her feel more relaxed and provide a greater thrill for both of you. While thrusting in and out, reach around and finger her clitoris. While orgasm may occur purely from the anal sex, this added stimulation will lead to a more intense sexual experience.

10) At the end. Immediately following climax, she may become extremely sensitive to penetration. Thrusting or pulling out should be done very gently after orgasm. Also, remember that once your penis has been inside the rectum, don't put it inside anywhere else until you have washed yourself.

These days more and more men are becoming interested in anal pleasure and comfortable with the idea of letting their female partners take control in bed, and some couples are even exploring male anal penetration by the female partner, a sexual practice known as Bend Over Boyfriend (BOB) or pegging. If you have never tried (or even heard of) this sexual practice, read my tutorial How to Bend Over Your Boyfriend and Make Him Like It.

Anal sex is one of the most erotic and satisfying sexual practices you and your partner can enjoy. It may take some time to get it just right, but if you follow these 10 steps, you will both have lots of fun trying. The most important aspect of anal sex is communication, so be sure to talk to your partner about your anal desires before, during, and after your first session of anal sex.

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

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Why Do Some Couples Enjoy Anal Sex?

Men and women of all walks of life enjoy anal sex as an alternative to everyday lovemaking. It's not for everyone, but anal sex may be what you're looking for if you want to try something different. Though anal sex for many seems like a taboo activity, and much of society still shuns it, statistics show that roughly 35% of heterosexuals practice anal sex at least occasionally.

Anal sex is enjoyable for men because the tight anal sphincter rings provide strong sensations to a thrusting penis. Generally, for women, the pleasure derived from anal intercourse is due to the shared nerve endings located between the rectal wall and the vagina, and/or from indirect stimulation of the G-spot. The anus contains many nerves as well, which can also react in a pleasurable manner when excited. My post Anal Sex from a Female Perspective describes what anal sex feels like for a woman. If you want to try anal sex with your wife or girlfriend, but are uncertain of her reaction, use the approach I recommend in How to Make Her Want Anal Sex.

Another attraction of anal sex is that it is much more forbidden and not so popular among heterosexuals as vaginal sex or even oral sex. The thrill of breaking a taboo and venturing into forbidden territory is exciting and sexually stimulating for some people. They like the idea of pushing the sexual envelope and being daring and naughty.

For couples trying anal sex for the first time, choosing the best position may make the difference between a painful or pleasurable experience. Though doggie-style may be the most popular anal sex position, it's not necessarily the best one for beginners. My article Which Anal Sex Positions Are Best for Beginners? describes several anal sex positions, and tells you which ones are best for beginners and why. To make your first anal sex experience a great one, follow my 10 Steps to Great First-Time Anal Sex.

These days more and more men are becoming interested in anal pleasure and comfortable with the idea of letting their female partners take control in bed, and some couples are even exploring male anal penetration by the female partner, a sexual practice known as Bend Over Boyfriend (BOB) or pegging. If you have never tried (or even heard of) this sexual practice, read my tutorial How to Bend Over Your Boyfriend and Make Him Like It.

Anal sex should not hurt. If it hurts, you're doing it wrong. While people often experience pain when first attempting anal sex, as a person learns to relax, the pain often subsides into pleasure. With enough lubricant and enough patience, it's entirely possible to enjoy anal sex as a safe and fulfilling part of your sex life.

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

Read more »

Which Anal Sex Positions Are Best for Beginners?

Many women are curious about anal sex, but are scared about comfort and safety issues. Some women who are unwilling to try anal sex with their current partner may have had a bad experience with an impatient or ignorant lover in the past.

However, anal sex can be very pleasurable for women because the rectum shares a wall with the vagina, and the sexual nerves are actually closer on that side, which makes the sensation unique, stronger and quite possibly orgasmic. My post Anal Sex from a Female Perspective describes what anal sex feels like for a woman. If you want to try anal sex with your wife or girlfriend, but are uncertain of her reaction, use the approach I recommend in How to Make Her Want Anal Sex.

For those couples trying anal sex for the first time, choosing the best position may make the difference between a painful or pleasurable experience.

1) Doggie Style is probably the most commonly thought of anal sex position. The woman kneels on all fours, and the man approaches from the rear. Though this is the most common anal position, it's not necessarily the most comfortable, or the best beginner position, as the woman tends to tighten up her anus in this position.

2) Flying Doggie is a variation of the popular doggie style position. The man stands behind the woman and places his feet outside the legs of the woman. You'll find that the man will be positioned higher and will be inserting into the anus in a more downward fashion.


3) In the Wheelbarrow position, the man approaches the woman from behind, similar to doggie stye, but lifts the woman's legs into the air. The woman must support herself with her arms only, or lie flat on a bed or chair.

4) The Anal Drop position puts the woman on top and the man on the bottom. You might think that this would be the best beginner position since it gives the woman control over the depth and speed of penetration, but being on top causes the woman to involuntarily tighten up her anus, making penetration difficult.

5) In the Anal Kama Sutra position, the man lies flat on his back with the woman on top, facing the man's feet. The woman should lean as far toward the feet as possible and then commence pumping. This angle tends to maximize anal pleasure for the woman while delaying orgasm for the man.

6) Side Anal is a good beginner position. The woman lies on one side, and the man approaches from the rear. The woman can relax her anus, and the man can easily access the entire anal area.

7) The Missionary position (man on top, woman on bottom) is the best beginner position for anal sex. It allows the woman to fully relax her anus, making penetration much easier. The woman lies face up with a pillow under her pelvis and her legs pulled up. The man should kneel or lie facing the woman and insert at an angle that is comfortable to both. In this position, the woman can relax several muscles necessary for pleasurable anal sex.

Women are often just as excited as men to be venturing into the anal aspect of sex. Many couples find that anal sex is a tremendous tool to enhance their regular sex activities. It's a unique feeling that is completely different to vaginal sex and worth experimenting with.

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

Read more »